the last time I saw her she was leaving the mens bathroom and club rush with her dress inside out. typical tease.
She has a concussion we think. Dancing to barbie girl.
Can you put "designated driver" on a resume?
my cabbie only has one arm...this can't be safe
Also, I once came to the conclusion after this one boy, that her pleasure condoms are a college boys version of flowers
i guess it wasn't a booty call since he got home from the club at 6:00 am... he told me to consider it morning sex
I don't care. I'm going to fuck John's friend and it's all your fault.
apparently i walked around all last night forcing people to beer bong whatever drink was in their hand. so far this morning ive had three people refer to me as beer bong man
Then I hope you find a set of extremely intelligent, flexible triplets in the ethnicity of your choice.
That is the nicest thing anyone has ever wished for me
I get hit on by the prison guards every time i go to see him. Seriously.
She judged ME for picking my nose when SHE has the clap.
I think my boss gives me work off weekends because he doesn't want me showing up hungover anymore..
I am going to go Miley Cyrus crazy if I don't get sex soon
Headline in the alligator: young zeta goes berserk after lack of sex and is found naked swinging from wrecking ball on university ave, refuses to get down until sex partner is found
My walk of shame was four miles long and I had to stop for a water break. I am the picture of class.
THIS IS WHAT CELL PHONES ARE FOR! So you can tell me that you're bringing your coworker who lives in the "Halleleuia community" home for a beer SO I'M NOT DRESSED IN LEATHER LINGERIE WHEN HE WALKS IN THE FUCKING DOOR!!
Randomize
