My ass is singing 4 different tunes right about now... Taco Bell was a bad idea!
Third unemployed latin in my bed this week. I'm on a roll
On blowjobs: "If you decide to go there, you finish the job. No complaining." I don't care if it sounds like she's talking about Iraq, I'm in love.
so my phone autocorrects 'retard' to 'retaaahd'. i LOVE being a masshole!
I closed that bar. Sang every Beatles song in the book. Made Somoan friends.
Dude with the Beatles haircut just got his pilots license and wants to take us up to do a case race mid flight. Don't tell me networking is unnecessary.
Is it just me or did a policeman park your car last night?
I guess I'll put a green shirt on. Also, I just snorted some protein shake power. That doesn't have anything to do with St. Patrick's Day. I just wanted you to know in case i die.
You were fucking on a porch at a party, not much privacy should be expected
Well two things you gotta know if you're gonna live here. your alcohol tolerance is gonna need to go up, and people do blow. Get used to it. Nobody is gonna pressure you into it. That shits expensive
I mean, unless you wanna just let me lie there while you fuck me and pour water into my mouth
How about we just have a naked taco night instead?
I'm not allowed back because I may or may not have insulted his beer. And the entire Czech Republic.
Doug the spinning teacher gave me chlyamdia
My manager is trying to help me find a good career path, and I'm trying to find a professional way to tell him I just wanna smoke and fuck.
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