Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
i cant believe u jumped in someones trunk just to get out of talking to me
We were so tired we rock paper scissored for who would be on top. I won.
I'm thinking about that time I was in a trashbag and you spray painted my hair yellow
He pulled the washer 5 feet out from the wall screaming about quarters
hey i found one of your nipple clamps under my couch, i miss you!
my liver gets a handicap on account of the whole being diseased thing
Heed the warning of the ghost of Oktoberfest present: German beer is soooooooo much better than our watered down children's piss. also lost all my clothes and am wearing lederhosen the rest of the trip.
Speaking of gay, some dude in a life vest just goes, we should pull our dicks out! To larry. Were leaving now. I saw penis
Don't forget ur talking to the master juggler. Remember that time I slept with 3 guys and made them all pay for plan b? Paid the rent didn't I?
I decided I was tough enough to wax my bikini area myself. Long story short, I'll be drunk when you get home
He showed up at my front door with Plan B and a rose...
How do u even exfoliate your vagina
Business idea: assless chaps for toddlers. I'm high.
Fursuit judi Dench just stared directly at me for 3 solid minutes telling me that cats arent dogs and i believe her because if i dont cat jason derulo might try to have sex with me
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