.....so he has a son. Josh. That is not his roommate
did you seriously just ask me if there is such thing as a sophisticated batman shirt?
dude she has hot friends.. do you want blonde brunette or red head.. maybe asian?
what is this build-a-bear? .. just gimme one thats breathing
So I gave him a handjob and now we aren't friends anymore
You're at Notre Dame. What did you expect?
He spent the entire date challenging me to chugging contests.
When you wake up in your dorm right outside your room with the key in the door, then you will understand my pain.
She just rubbed her face all over pool chalk. I feel like it's time to go
She clicked her fingers, said "here boy!", and pointed at her vagina.
And fyi howling is not an acceptable form of communication.
He unbuckled his belt, tipped his hat at me, then told me to "saddle up"
this is like your 5th cowboy right? where do you keep finding these guys?!!
I was worried he'd break you after the hiatus your lady parts had to take from social interaction.
You have 4 bottles of kahlua in ur drawers but no sox
I'm sun burnt so instead of getting drunk and trying to sleep with you, how about we get naked and you scratch my body and rub lotion on me while I rub one out?
Apparently she "missed me" and the only logical solution was to fuck my brother.
I was sending him tit pics while watching how to train your dragon 2. It was everything.
Randomize
