While sitting in bed naked eating ramen and watching the colbert report I realize why random sex happens.
If I say "It's good enough" and I'm not talking about a sandwhich, that's your queue to stop me, you're supposed to be my friend.
i'm sitting in the library realizing that the 2 most productive things i did this weekend was have sex and go to the liquor store...
Forgot to mention there might be a picture of me being thrown in the air while at a Mexican restaurant
We don't need a hotel, we'll just sleep in the post office.
its been so long even thinking about having a dick inside me makes me sore
Seriously this night has "go home now before you cry, puke or scream on someone" written all over it.
So you met him?
More like I walked in on him, drunk, naked, and doing "bathtub yoga". Please stop bringing your dates home.
I am too drunk to be out in this weather around all these animals.
So after he broke the crutches and got us kicked out of McDonalds, we stole a bike and when we got back to the hotel, he jumped out the window into the bushes.
Yeah when he is drunk, he seems to think he is Captain Americas Canadian counterpart, Captain Canuck
lesson #1 of freshman year: grinding with a sombrero is difficult
I asked him if we could hang out sometime when we weren't hammered. He said he'd email me his number... that's when I knew I was going to die alone
Good, I would never sleep with your boyfriend , or send you an edible arangment
How drunk were you? in an effort to seduce him, you demonstrated your lap dance skillz on his dog.
I just want a man in my bed on a regular basis, who cuddles, and who I can also occasionally hang out with outside of my bedroom. Is that too much to ask for?
Randomize
