Apparently they shut down a cook out cause people were selling drugsout the drive thru. Nice to be home
Any particular reason you put 2 smashed up limes in my back pocket last night?
STOP acting like a freshman, you have a drivers liscence now AND a PERSCRIPTION for birth control. Dont give all sophmores a bad name. Woman Up
So I just googled the ten commandments... Were fucked.
last night i found out that my 11 year old cousin used me as an example of what not to do in her D.A.R.E. speech. awesome.
it's to the point where working 2 jobs this summer will absolutely not cover how much i will spend on alcohol next semester.
He won't ever take me seriously if I keep getting drunk and hooking up with all his friends.
I might lose an organ but I've got booze. I'll be fine.
Cracked my iPhone screen. Real bad. Girl from last night isn't ugly yet. Stop me if you still think she belongs under a bridge. You have 12 seconds.
Maybe if more guys knew my pillowtalk occasionally includes me scribbling notebook diagrams of cell signalling pathways, I'd get laid more often
Screw them and thier engaged asses. I've got liquor to drink and boys I don't know to make out with.
A cute girl just told me she forgot to take her birth control and winked... I've never been so conflicted about fleeing in terror
This message brought to you by inappropriate slogans. Cotton candy, melting in your mouth like boners.
its like a catch 22, sucks that you've stopped, but its like a vagina high five
Is it weird that I'm smoking a cig on my back patio in a sports bra and underwear?
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