I'm almost 25, which means I can ride with girls that have permits
Facebook lets you pick usernames now. You'd better log on and get yours before homewreckingwhore is taken...
Night out in new white coat = success. Offered free breast exams all night, two took me up on it, woke up with one. I love medical school!!!
Honestly, it was easier to just put it in my mouth than to deal with an awkward conversation.
Srsly this has gone to far. Just broke my nose on the toilet. College bars.
Although last time you were unsure about someone they flipped a golf cart on me.
Ohhh. Its been awhile. Vending machine hotel condoms are $15 here who can afford to not get herpes?
I'll just be here. Naked. Eating tots and jello like a muh fuggin G
I'm putting you on my Emergency card so i can spend the last ounce of strength in my hospital bed to flip you off.
Any day that has a special name thats capitalized means you need to need to call in sick and get day drunk. That's why they are there.
I was just asked if I wanted to struggle snuggle. She's a keeper
Do u like your dick pics shot in hotdog or hamburger orientation?
I woke up with your vibrator in my face
He yelled "Go Ducks" while he came
My mom and my boss just had a discussion on FB about the sexual habits of old people. The magic of the Internet.
Randomize
