I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
Got a little crazy huh? Happy st pattys day. None of you have any idea where my credit card would be do you? How do i always lose
Why do girls always cry at the bar?
What's the point of going out if you're going to cry all night?
Are they having an exestensial crisis at the bar?
You should never have let annie watch you have sex with other women
i can smell the iron from margo's period blood from across the table.
so I just asked a Chinese man and found out our tattoos actually mean vagina...
Legit I think I might have gotten hepatitis C from licking the window of that last cab.
When the tupperware hit the highway it was like a vomit bomb
I gotta bail on the cookout tonight. Im at the er getting stitches. Re-enacting porno went horribly wrong.
Did you just say he wants to put a baby inside me?
So after this weekend I think I'm gonna go down on one knee and propose to my boyfriend that he give me his liver.
I keep confusing the name of her and her dog. Both are appropriate.
Also I'm sitting home alone with a big ass bowl of marshmallows right now just eating. It's so sad.
I just slapped myself in the face with my dildo and I know that's a weird thing to share but I just had to tell to someone omg I'm laughing so hard
Alright I'd bang a 4 sober, It's been like 3-4 weeks or how ever long 4th of July was ago. I wanna fuck something.
4th of July was 12 days ago. The date is literally in the text you just sent.
I don't care about the dates I just wanna bone something.
Randomize
