The walk of shame is so much worse when you've spent the night third wheeling.
Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
This smoking ban is really fucking with my ability to fart in public
Just woke up bloody and clutching a rear view mirror I'm pretty sure is from my car. For those of you keeping score at home this is why I stopped drinking four loko.
Lol. No. We cannot eat chicken while we have sex. No.
Scary. I thought trees were a lie and that someone ha permanently stenciled them into my life. No joke.
Sober now. I'm really glad I didn't try to make out with that guy who has a pregnant fiance
Driving home this morning in my minion costume makes me rethink the 0 tint on my windows.
My mom is selling her car. I'm secretly relieved I won't ever have to tell her about that time you puked in it
But did u die
I found an onion in my purse
Just puked in a cup. Poured it out the window.
People like you and me aren't meant to go this long without having sex
We fucked for 9 months, but he didn't want anything serious. So, I got rid of him and went on a date with a guy last night that looks like Kylo Ren. Who's really winning here?
Someone keeps hanging up bible verse posters in the bathroom stall I masturbate in at work.
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