You would get kicked out of the study lounge for being drunk the monday of finals week
Missed another period
I almost hope you're pregnant, this is unfair.
I just did a sobriety test in a tutu.
I cannot believe he got soft mid fuck. I just hope he bought that horrible impression you did of my dad. I love you though, you came in clutch tonight.
It was the least I could do after throwing up in your purse.
Sometimes things go your way and sometimes you get hit on by a fat drunk girl.
We can't tell anyone we fucked because I'm still trying to get with your friend. Is she coming next weekend?
I won the booty shaking contest by mooning the whole bar
Looks like a took a video of myself beating off and passed out last night. I'm classy.
this makes me concerned. not enough to actually do anything about it, but yeah.
He goes from zero to fucking up in 2.4 drinks. Like the sportscar of bad decision making.
Guys are like someone else's baby; i'll play with them but if responsibility is involved i'll hand them off.
We were making eye contact while i was throwing up.
I haven't even lived here for 24 hours yet, and I've already banged someone. My new hoe life is off to a great start.
I just saw a woman give her infant whiskey tits. About ten minutes ago she was doing shots, and now she's breast feeding. Whiskey. Tits.
Fucked a DJ on a jetski today... I love florriidaaa!
Randomize
