why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
I got fucking wesley sniped last night by that power hoe. How'd it end up on your end? Did you canoodle the stripper enough for her to agree to go to formal?
How do i ask the guy i made out with for 4 hours if he is gay? He keeps telling me i'm so adorable and that he had a ''blasty''
I just woke up to a guy kissing me goodbye and leaving for class. I don't know where I am, don't have any clothes on, my underwear are gone, and the shoes I found with my dress aren't mine. He just walked in and gave me my phone. I was on my period. Come get me I will walk to the nearest intersection and wait.
If I saw Perez Hilton naked I think I would stick a lit candle down my throat.
Note to self: Not getting laid all weekend makes girls in mondays classes racks seem enormously bigger.
The voicemail says i shouldn't bother ever showing my face there again, i don't understand
We visited your boss last night. guess you wont be paying the rent this month, eh?
It feels like im being cuddled by a thousand little smurf vaginas
I'm trying to pinpoint the moment when "don't do anything I wouldn't do" became bad advise.
if i ever get hit by a car or something and become paralyzed promise me youll still be here to hand feed me shots and light my bowls please
the night probably should have been over when the guy let her fill out my mechanical bull waver for me because i couldn't read
Our DD painted my costume on me for tonight. The strippers have been teaching him how to paint costumes.
How weird would it be for me to get 1 hour photos printed at CVS of my partially or all nude?
i just want to die with dignity and clean teeth, is that too much to ask?
my Mom is now my Eskimo sister... she fucked my ex in my bed and took a selfie
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