What kind of poor, pathetic town do we live in where a horny teenage girl is sitting in her basement on a saturday night, unlaid?
It tastes like I coughed up blood....hello liver damage, I've been expecting you.
I'll tell you what, we couldn't have asked for better binge-drinking weather.
we just finished a porn and sex toy shopping spree. this is the fun part of "being serious"
One of my coworkers just invited me to a wet t-shirt contest this weekend in honor of her son's 21st Birthday.
The Supreme Court upheld health insurance. If that's not an excuse to get hospital drunk, I don't know what is.
Oh Julie took your pants off last night, I put your pajama bottoms on, and Rachel took your bra off. It takes a village.
I went eBay shopping last night. Turns out I brought a Viking drinking horn. I can't even be mad.
For an hr, you were convinced you no longer had a right arm so you played Super Mario Bros with just your left hand vs Beth. You won btw, mite b why she refused to wear the unicorn head
Apparently chalking everything I've done these past 48 hours to the fact that it was homecoming, is like a "get out of jail free" card.
No dude. I can't think of anything LESS sexy than yodeling
They were assless. I wore assless football pants.
you know you're drunk when you start breaking down your body composition into organic molecules
Some guy at the bar last night bought us Arrowhead water and I was so drunk, it tasted good
A black cat walked my drunken ass home last night and made sure I made it back into the apartment safe. Sat with me for 30 minutes as I struggled to unlock the door. Guardian angel or drunken hallucinations?
Randomize
