Thanks to blow jobs, my margarita's at the bar are only 3dollars.
Dude, TWO hot chicks on jeopardy tonight. gonna be a good one
Dude, I am so turned on right now. Hot chick with glasses from brooklyn is absolutely crushing right now, taking whole categories. might beat off to jeapordy...
do another line during during the commercial and make the magic happen during double jeopardy.
Just saw cops pull over the ice cream truck. What a dick
No I remember falling down the stairs I just don't remember it hurting.
3rd rule of buttsex she must be clean and shower recently
and skipped dinner
I told him i wanted to be exclusively cheating with him
She says I'm cute and I remind her of her brother. She's too hot to back out now. I don't know. I'm guna go for it.
Just hit him with your car. I can guarantee he won't do it again.
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
There is a mobile STD testing unit set up at my place of employment. In the lunchroom. I may need to reevaluate my career choices. And my lunch plans.
NoShamevember. You game?
I broke a glass at the bar and ended up with blood on my forehead. I apparently kept screaming BLOOD like the little boy in that YouTube video.
You're officially the most high maintenance man I've ever had inside me.
How much glitter would I have to ingest in order for a "magnificent" amount to appear in my ejaculate?
You have a full penis tattoo of a cobra fighting a mongoose, don't you?
Randomize
