I hope my future cuntsucker is that tight
P.S. I can't hear my feet
I didn't cheat on him. Cheating means finding out. I made sure he was at work first. After the guy left I got shitfaced just so nothing seemed out of the ordinary when he came home.
He snuck into some random hotel's continental breakfast at 3 AM and then passed out on a bench in the lobby. When the cops found him they made him empty out his pockets. No phone, no ID just muffins.
She told me she cured her bulemia by popping hydrocodone after she ate. that way she would be rewarded for not puking. I like the way she thinks
found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
He's either a really good actor or an actual prince, I'm fine with both so I'll sleep with him.
Just called the bar: "hi this is the girl who you kicked out for excessive bleeding, do you happen to have my coat?"
You walked in on me taking a shit and told me to hit the bong
Our sex has gotten so much better since we broke up.
Being single/not living at home sucks. All I want is someone I can force to pick up my pizza for me so I don't have to talk to anyone.
I danced with a french guy who licked the sweat off my neck and poured a drink on me. Not gonna lie, that shit was refreshing
would you like to venture to the magical clitoris forest?
We had a company shotgunning beers contest in the parking lot today, and I won. God bless America!
I woke up naked and alone this morning. What a life
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