I'm having a terrible night. Can I sleep over?
Too tired to pretend that I care : (
well he's currently spooning the coffee table
Would the plural word for douche be deese? "Look at these deese bags"?
Are you high?
Just hooked up on shake weight girl's dad's porsche. What are YOU doing with your life?
Whoever decided to wrap my shins in duck tape owes me new leg hair.
How bad would it be if I asked him for my "ho ho ho" thong back? They're my fav christmas pair!
Don't I can pass these orgasm blushes off as sunburn for much longer...
All the drunken hookups over the last year are self destructing, at least something is keeping nursing school interesting
Your actions as of last night have earned you over thirty new nicknames.
My cat is staring at me while I drink my wine on the bathroom floor in the morning instead of attending class. Sorry mom and dad. Sorry cat.
high moment I think I just reached personal nirvana
I woke up with gum stuck to my nipple piercings this morning.. So there's that.
I lost my voice. So I'm going to pretend I'm Ariel with legs today.
The only food I have to eat is weed gummies and magic mushrooms... This is peak 34
I'd kiss your neck and collarbone and then run my tongue up your neck to just behind your ear
And then lightly kick the curve inside your ear
Randomize
