Grow some girl-balls and come out already
I have glitter on my penis. Do you know anything about this?
She asked the class if starwars was based on a true story...
I really need to learn how to handle sexual advances from older women
I wish I had your problem
why did you let me tell everyone that you can get herpes from the ice luge and then let me do the ice luge?
You had me at "mimosas" several texts ago.
There are very few times i will succumb to laying naked on my bathroom floor. But lastnight is a resonable enough cause.
Slip and slide hallway was not one of my better ideas.
Told my prof I have mono so that he won't judge me when I show up hungover and looking like shit to class every day.
Just skip
Please. i have SOME standards
My eczema on my back is flaring up so he rubbed coconut oil on it while we were boning down. If that's not a picture of 8 years married I dunno what is.
My vagina is glad I'm back at work because it needs a vacation after working all through my vacation.
Way to go. Now you have no beer and I have a cold tit.
It was really strange. I feel like I had sex with a synchronized swimmer.
Hey I know we haven't talked in a while, but I wanted to thank you for those m&ms you bought me for Christmas. Sorry I never got you anything then broke up with you.
Why did I wake up with a skeleton in my bed? Is it from the lab?
Oh crap, that's where it ended up. Yeah, don't ask.
Randomize
