I just showed my boobs to our astate representative hahahahahahha
For future reference, even the most well-intentioned game of whiskey pong is a terrible idea.
apparently he couldn't remember my name so he refereed to me as whats-her-boobs and everyone knew that it was me he was talking about
i just did the math...im a product of my mothers birthday sex
He keeps whispering to me that he can't wait to tie my hands up with my wig?
i just got on a party bus. i think i left my belly button at the bar.
She insisted on fucking on the futon mattress on the floor, answered the phone call from her boyfriend who was on his way to pick her up, and then had the audacity to ask if I was clean
how you manage to cockblock me from 500 miles away still baffles me.
todays sighting is titled: Bum taking pictures with an invisible camera.
I tried to prevent a bar fight. By convincing a guy whacked out on Molly to slap the ass of everyone who was arguing and shout "WOO" each time. I'm proud, surprised, and intrigued that it calmed everyone down so quickly...
Someone just asked me why I drink so much. Im gonna slap a bitch
The first thing I did when I got to the apartment was masturbate on the couch
I would say don't do anything I wouldn't do, but we both know I forget about my personal safely when getting laid is on the line
We just fucked each other sober. #goteam
false alarm, still single
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