Sorry I thought I was a lizard earlier.
My brain says no but my pants say off.
I just saw a pregnant woman with a cigarette and a beer walking into the Larry the Cable Guy show. I'm glad my taxes are paying her medical expenses.
marching band practice is quite the interesting soundtrack to sex
i'm crying at olive garden. i've hit rock bottom
I think I'm about to have sex with a second person before noon hehehhe! You're welcome America.
He's high as balls tripping balls and doing a reenactment of the scene where Buzz jumps off the balcony and can't fly to his soundtrack of Toy Story.
Well sorry I accidentally spooned your mom and possibly threw up on you
I never realized how you can accidentally go home with someone until tequila got involved.
I'm currently in h&m wondering "what exactly is the class level of a swingers resort?"
You're breaking my sexual little heart
My fuck buddy just proposed... Correct me if I'm wrong, but doesn't that completely defeat the purpose of FRIENDS with benefits?
Now you can be friends with Insurance Benefits.
There's a video of you almost falling asleep in a bar stool listening to Jimmy Buffett. Nekkid.
she told him my safe word. I'm gonna casually work it into conversation and at him suggestively to see if he realizes i want to have rough sex with him
I feel like i'm being yelled at when you type in all caps.Did you just have bad sex?
Randomize
