This is the kind of period I feel I should name out of respect to the fact I might have just gotten lucky this time.....
We're like two naked peas in a sex pod.
it was all downhill after the free blackjack taco
is it weird that i blow-dry my hair and poop at the same time?
not any weirder than you telling me this at 4 in the morning
grilled cheese. we just shotgunned grilled cheese.
He said my breasts were God's way of making up to him for all the shit he's had to endure in his life.
My mom and I are having a "yay I don't have herpes" shopping trip day
It wasn't a threesome, it was me making out with one while looking at the other one screaming "does this make you jealous?"
Nothing is more awkward than taking a dump while someone is crying in the bathroom.
stop calling me dude. finger blasting me officially kills you being able to call me dude.
Here is your half hour reminder. Meet you at emergency room.
Yeah I'm at the doctors getting a shotand don't know how to tell them I'm still probably drunk from last night
Being able to fart in my own house is like 90% of why I pay rent
He's smoked my weed, stolen my cigarettes, and used my campus cash, but I try to initiate sex and NOWWW he's all "As your RA, that's a line I can't cross"
I woke up under the kitchen table. Andy is cursing out Joe Exotic's name in between heaves in the bathroom. Jay is trying to sleep w/ a shirt tied over his eyes. Lena and Brad braved the sun to go get bloody mary supplies and food. I'd say the Tiger King drinking game was a success.
Randomize
