the way i see it, im about one adderall binge away from graduating
well what she called a "work function" most people call "doing shots with your boss while people throw napkins at you."
When sleeping with someone new: should you hide the magnum condoms, or let him know what he has to live up to?
this morning i checked my reflection in the toilet as i was throwing up to make sure i still had my pearl earrings on
It's great having no responsibilities. In normal life I would be freaking the fuck out right about now. But the only worry I have from last night is where i got this shower caddy full of cookies. God I love college.
Since when do you have sex with people you have feelings for?
Dude you don't understand. I genuinely felt his soul's penis in my soul's vagina.
Do I need to take a photo of my sister's enlarged and disgustingly dark nipples to scare you into protection? DO I?
bro, your right, i shouldn't feel embarrassed about taking shots from a penis-shaped ice sculpture
The ketchup exploded, and totally splooged his face and the wall. You could see the outline of his head in the wall splatter.
You have 4 bottles of kahlua in ur drawers but no sox
Walk of shaming into my apartment. No one to clap me in. Come home!
Didn't pick classes because we were out all weekend...only open course is "alcohol and drug problems". Fucking ironic.
Watching a bear prancing around in a tiara is worth a loss of bar time.
she went outside...danced, got some snow, and put cherry vodka in it. she was so proud of herself.
That man fucks like a champ. The sex was so good I did him again in the morning just to be sure
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