i think it was just a coincidence but she literally vomited the second she saw my penis.
Too many people are naked here for this to be normal.
I wish i could be on x for the rest of my life.
Just got my cast off. My occupational therapist wants me to self-gratify. My clit is about to have an awesome weekend...
I bought this skirt with every intention to have it wrapped around my tits by the end of the night. So, I'm not a whore. I'm a self-fulfilling prophecy.
coming out of a blackout being surrounded by Disney police was not as awesome as it sounds.
The "don't get cum on anything" rule also applies to my furniture and scarves
That's not technology. Doesn't count.
You threw up on yourself mid conversation with your mom and then told her a girl at the party puked on you.
Just retrieve me from the bathroom floor when you're done
And then you told me I had large hands and looked like a girl who would have an illegitimate child that I never talked about
I'm sorry but you're choosing a girl that faked a pregnancy when you wouldn't return her calls over a more attractive sane girl who you begged for a chance with last week? God you're a loser.
Fulfilled a bucket list goal last night. Borrowed a dollar from a stripper to buy smokes
God bless Atlanta.
Don't know how your birthday has been, but mine has involved Hershey's syrup and a blowie. It's safe to say you're playing catch up.
What do you take me for? I'm not trying to lure you into bed with stories of my dead aunt.
it is time to test the effects of half a loaf of bread and overconfidence on the human body
Randomize
