Last night I had a dream we played Uno and had sex. You won at Uno, but you lost at sex.
Took an aderol, wrote a differential equation for solving volume of flow of a rectangular channel with change in depth, then masturbated for the 6th time.
Just found a dugout in my rental car glove box. Suddenly my mood is upbeat.
Question: does the slut gene come from the mother or the father? im trying to figure out who to blame.
He stripped down to boxers and then started flinging jello shots with a spoon into people's mouths like a catapult.
Oh my god. You have got to get off that breast feeding support group. They're on to you, dude.
I am the sex elephant in the room. Again.
Fuck edible panties there is a dress made out of bacon
she's like a sexy human version of my cat. i can't catch her, and she keeps throwing up in the corners.
Gay bathhouses. They're actually a thing. So god does exist. And he doesn't hate me as much as you think he does
Yeah, it was all very half-hearted. In the middle of sex we both just stopped and looked at each other and said, "can we just sleep instead?"
That is so sad.
At least you didn't have a hemorroid rupture while banging
I'm pretty sure I hallucinated the existence of an entire human being last night.
Have you ever wanted to murder the Sun? To bring the life-giving fusion reactor to a bitter end because of the sheer agony it brings to your eyes as it keeps you awake. And for waking the birds. Fuck birds.
In a few weeks I'll be a beautiful butterfly and me and my cat will have to repopulate the earth. WE WILL REBUILD!!
Randomize
