life lesson# 3: saying thank you on a subway really means "im not a native new yorker, so please feel free to touch my ass"
hmm. interesting. explain how you came across this knowledge.
i sneezed. he said bless you. i said thank you. he groped. i again said thank you.
Dude, just discovered frito and mozzarella nachos. Don't say I never contributed anything to this world.
Someone wrote Kyle's bitch on me too. I dont even know who Kyle is.
Even his old football coach jokes about how big it is. I don't want to be alone in a room with him and that monster.
If I threw up, how do I still have the same piece of gum in my mouth from the beginning of the night?
He wants to hookup..at the fair..this is our chance to leave him stranded with no clothes.
No she left bc the of pic I have of my mom in my bathroom. She thought it was my gf
Why the hell do you have a picture of YOUR MOM in your bathroom?!?!
Welp, dad and I drunkenly sang Christmas carols until the police told us to stop. I vote Xmas eve a success
I may quit my job to go be a costumed Jedi at Disneyland.
please come back they are interrogating me about masturbation
This country song on the radio just had a rap break. What. No. Why.
I stopped him mid keg stand to show him how cute my bra was...
That's the second time the same cop pulled me over well a different girl was giving me road head
If they start to date again I refuse to help her sext him. Helping my mom sext my dad is where I draw the line.
A girl I had a drunken hook up with is on interventon right now
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