At least make sure they are 18
Why
Is there some kind of disinfectant spray people use? Why would anyone want to eat ass??
I'm taking child development now so if you get pregnant i can raise your child no worries
he has officially spend more money on me than any other boy. and its all gone to plan b. awesome.
Then she yelled something like "YOU HAVE SO MANY FORKS!" before collapsing on the floor
Tequila bombs in champagne seemed like a good idea at the time.
That's what you get for drunk dialing me to ask what kind of flowers I like while outside of a strip club, after telling me you "made it rain"
Ultimate Fighter Idea. You and I both have unprotected sex with the same girl in the spam of days. Whoever the child belongs to, wins and that child is the ultimate ultimate fighter.
How high are you?
Well, I made it all the way to the gas station. And from there, I begged a cab driver who was parked outside, to give me a piggy back ride the final 2 blocks to my apartment. I wasn't in the cab. Didn't have to pay. Drunk me is smart, and very lazy.
I woke up with my earring stuck inbetween my tits. Somehow you fucked my earring out and my boobs saved it. I'm pretty impressed with both of us right now.
Rebecca hasn't has this number in 3 months. Please tell all her friends to stop calling at 3 am. We are not interested in buying or selling drugs nor do we want to hook up with anyone. You all need to go to rehab.
My date ended with her leaving the bar with that guy who used to jerk off in the back of the school bus.
Godammit I caught my hair on fire taking a bong rip
I'm determined to sit on that face.
Sooo, my mother is snoring, my ex is sexting me, the guy I'm having an affair with is sending me dick pics, and all I want to do is sleep!
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