She was so bad on top that i found myself watching a TV that wasn't even turned on
You would get kicked out of the study lounge for being drunk the monday of finals week
I feel like every car around me knows I'm driving in my snuggie
My roommate has every episode of Full House. I'm going to fail my midterm tomorrow.
Ya know, years from now when that kid is old enough, I'll get to regale him with the story of how I was his father's AND uncle's first gay experience.
You are the patron saint of my drinking problem.
stoners and superglue do NOT mix
Should we go get some celebratory "I'm not pregnant" tacos?
Specially since he wanted to forget that we even touched, which makes it funnier because I don't think you can take back licking someone's butthole...
there was a goddamn geisha at house. my dick feels more cultured.
TFW YOU ACCIDENTALLY SEND A MEME ABOUT LIKING ANAL TO THE GROUP CHAT. JESUS FUCKING CHRIST, WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME?
Idk. The bad part of me thinks it's a good idea. The bad part is also the stupid part.
I don't blame you. I made YouTube videos of me singing Rent songs then slept with a married couple. Fucking tequila.
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
my very deepest apologies for the unintentional cock block.
Randomize