If it makes you feel any better I'm plucking my mustahce and drinking. Alone.
Just heard a guy discussing with someone else the amazing blow job you gave him. I’m in New York. Over 2 hours away from where you live. I have never been more proud.
I wish there was a classy way to show off your boobs.
I'm wearing cowboy boots and showing way too much cleavage to be in a place with no jaeger.
I told him "thank you for wearing a turtleneck yesterday, I no longer have a strong erg to have sex with you. " He is no longer speaking to me.
This is davidson friend mat i an drunk. Thank you for having a physical relationship. With David. I bet he gas a penis the size of an elephant tusk. You are a lucky lady.
You said you were going inside to sober up and then you poured yourself a wine glass of warm gin
You insisted on calling your mixture of Bacardi & powdered milk "a Jamacian Facial."
I take your giggles as a yes to operation McLaxitives?
i came home to her naked eating chilli on the living room floor. Stop giving her jager.
He put chocks of wood in front of his doors to stop me from leaving. I'm not nearly drunk enough for that to be appropriate behaviour.
Is it bad that I recognize every dick in your dic pic collection?
Don't be the guy that has his dick out at work.
Went to bed in my room fully clothed, woke up naked in the kitchen with the dog looking unamused.
He literally shoved the EMT, climbed in the back of the ambulance with his vodka and was like, "C'mon, people. Wrap this up. I got shit to do."
Randomize
