11:03 p.m. Whats a lie i you lovn me. Let's cuddle.
She was so wet my fingers were literally pruney when I got done with her
I made a game called come to class high and eat nachos.
Sign she's a keeper: "I would rather be late to brunch than waste a perfectly good boner."
Can you bring home bongs? Like all the bongs. I need bongs
I'm just gonna yell "SURPRISE ME" and see what happens. No way this could go wrong
Sadly, she's the porn star that got away
Day drinking! Today! (tomorrow too!) Our place! Whenever you get off work! Ready go!
It's just unfortunate that I still have the image of him having sex with me fresh in my mind
How the fuck do you get a noise complaint filed against you at 9:30am on a fucking Tuesday?
His weed is so good that I don't wanna risk loosing him as my weed man so I plan to keep him in the friend zone 😂
Hold on gotta plunge the sink
Is that a euphemism for sex? Either way, have a good time
You kept telling everyone that you were as sober as a camel. I have yet to figure out what that means
This morning we had sex while he was wearing a full length fur jacket and sunglasses... I wasn't even phased
I think my moral compass just broke
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