you were calling yourself Ulickes S. Cunt.
Making the executive decision for drunk you to not sleep in the lofted bed that has no ladder
Do you think my parents will accept my drinking habits more if I told them I like to drink every night because I take good shits the next morning?
I feel like I should lick our pitcher just so everyone knows its ours
She just invited me to drunkenly make out on the kitchen floor again.....
he made a bald eagle out of coke lines
No, my body just knows its the weekend and wants to rage. Very different from alcoholism
I just yelled at my mom for getting me circumcised without my permission. That drunk
In other news, someone I've had sex with won jeopardy last night.
I've found a new low. I was climb-on-the-bar-piano drunk.
It was a "my chaser needed a chaser" kind of night
No other awkward car ride can beat the one you give your drug dealer home.
I'm serious. I have boob tassles if this is an exchange thing.
I wish I knew the extent of my injuries before I climbed over the fence. Might have avoided the need to purchase a cupholder for my wheelchair.
Until you've snorted cocaine at 6am before your nursing school clinicals birthing babies you're not on my level
Randomize
