HOLY SHIT! Did you see the dick on that Great White Shark?!?!?!
I think jizz is working it's way to becoming my number 1 food source.
is it bad i banged a 25yr kindergarten teacher last night?
No thats like a top 10
We are NOT roofying him just to get him to pass out so we can build a masive snow cock in his yard.
We are having a competition to see who can masterbate in the wierdest place, right now hes winning since he masterbated on his Jr. High school bus.
your ex girlfriend just barged in my house, drunk, mumbled something about "car strip", and put a huge hole in my drywall with her head.
I stuck a note to his door with my gum explaining why i couldn't spend the night. as i was walking away, he opened the door...i fell down and played dead. deffinitly didn't see me.
you went over to those random dudes and told them you were an ordained minister and would like to bless their food. they laughed and agreed, then you said "now bow your heads in prayer" as soon as they did you grabbed a taco off their tray and bolted out the door.
theres pictures of him knuckle deep in her, both of them thumbs up and cheesin. someone should take her kid away
A valentines day commercial would come on while I'm masturbating...
It is no longer St. Patrick's Day. I should NOT still have green boobs!
Dad just asked me to breathalyze grandma
I hear my roommate snoring and I feel bad for his girlfriend but then I hear them having sex and I guess it all works out in the end.
It feels like heartburn in my lungs. I'll buy 2 pounds.
Apparently my hair turned out really good because I got my butthole licked by a stranger last night
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