I'm sorry for the crack den comment. You have a lovely apartment.
Just convinced airport security that im sober. All i do is win.
Can you deep fry cheerios do you know? crucial question
I'm pretty sure that I'm earning a horrible reputation with your friends, but I'm having a fucking great time in the process.
dude wearing that thong all day was not worth the 7 bucks
It was honestly like he was directing a porno or something. he kept telling different people to grab other people's boobs, it was all very artistic.
The perfect world is just rainbows and rocknroll and good sex. With the occasional stripper ridIng a horse. I spelled occasionally right?
I just feel like you're using me for sex.
I'm glad you finally understand the context of our relationship
This is NOT the time to take our hits and go to Disney. Let me repeat that. NOT THE TIME FOR DISNEY ON ACID
Is the mullet a good, great, or horrible idea before we leave for college
True strength comes from lack of pants
Noted. Next time you want to get fried chicken and cocaine.
Ok. That just sounds baller.
I know right. I don't even want to have sex today. I did anyway but that's besides the point.
He told me that he had never gotten a blow job. I sat there for a second, then thought "I MUST FIX THIS!" It was fucking fantastic.
I woke up under the stretchy sheet like the corners were still stuck under the bed. I had to wiggle the corners off in order to get up. I was trapped. how did that happen
Randomize