someone took a shit in my car last night and left $5 on the seat...
The guy next to me is watching porn. EVERYTIME I COME TO THE LIBRARY SOME RANDOM GUY NEXT TO ME LOOKS AT PORN.
is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
I just showed my boobs to our astate representative hahahahahahha
the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
on the way to work, i saw an empty wine bottle sitting in the middle of an intersection. i thought of you.
i can respect that.
I woke up on a raft in a bath tub filled with beer. excellent night.
Watching that soccer game was like getting kicked in the crotch for an hour and half and then coming right at the end.
So High I just made Cadbury Coffee. I don't know what it is yet, but it involves Cadbury Eggs and coffee.
It's only 8pm and Karl already got a stripper fired.
I'm in his phone as "nashville blowjob" he also has "cleveland blowjob" "vegas blowjob" etc. i'm okay with this.
He said he wanted to have butt sex with me and curl up with me after and just be near me. Then he passed out.
she did 8 shots of vodka. THROUGH A SIPPY STRAW
I have got to meet this girl.
My life is sponsored by tidy cat kitty litter, Bacardi rum, and plan b.
If you really loved me, you'd support my weed habit.
As the person who squeezed you out of my vagina, the answer is no.
Randomize
