I don't know what's more pathetic, the fact that you dated him or the fact that it took a Taylor Swift song for you to break up with him.
after taking her first shot and having her first random hook up she finally feels like she is ready for college
she has no idea
Because if the best sex I've ever had was with a gay guy, then God help me.
Plus you know he's just 2 semesters and 4 glasses of wine away from "experimenting" with some French major
Someone took a picture of their balls on my phone last night. BEAUTIFUL PACKAGE. I will find this man.
Yeah. I've decided no relationship can survive me shoving my boobs in the guys face
My chest smells like french fries. Get at me attractive men.
The party invite said "this ain't no lame stoplight party, you come to hookup or you don't come" I feel like their honesty deserves out attendance
Not to mention having our pick at the ensuing sausagefest
Apparently I missed the "You may have to jack off a horse" part of the application.
I just almost caught my floor on fire, then decided I could put it out with my knuckles! So I'm doing good!
She kissed me, then said "mmm your face tastes like it needs my pussy on it."
Would it be weird if I bought knee pads and shin guards to fuck in my car?
I fucked the midget version of a backstreet boy and I am not mad about it
He kept trying to make out with me but I was just trying to show him Shrek memes
Hey do you care to explain why there are 3 empty pickle jars next to me when I woke up or do I even wanna know?
Randomize
