We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
Ed hardy makes air fresheners now. Now even the air can be a douchebag.
i feel like an archaelogyst. im pulling apart last weeks brownies to find the weed in them
well he has a gf so if he picks me up tonight i'll only him finger me
my mom sold the house because of the grow room the couple saw i had in the basement.
We're playing fucking games. GAMES. THIS IS BULL SHIT. IM GOING TO THROW UP ON THE BABIES AND LEAVE.
He was drinking wine out of a pyrex measuring cup at two in the afternoon and told me my ass looked fantastic in my sweatpants. I love university
There's a girl in the bathroom crying about something having to do with cream cheese.
I hate that you live in a gated community. I feel your guard judges me every time I go to your house at 3 am an leave at 5am
You screamed "There's a potato in my anus" and proceeded to attempt to grind with the bouncer. Also, I'm pretty sure our Chem teacher was in the same bar as us.
I just sold my hat for three car bombs. I call that a win.
Good morning 7am walk of shame. It's been awhile.
Oh. My. God. I. Am. Going. To. Punch. Someone. In. The. Face. Immediately.
Everyone has seen your nipples. It's like asking if they ever walked on grass. You need better hangover questions.
Did I honestly think it was a good idea to wear my pink robe out in public at 2 in the morning ?
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