I just remembered Dan asking me all polite in the middle of sex "do you mind if I get behind you?" that was the most polite way I've been asked to do it doggy style
My superpower would be to be able to make a chick instantly start her period just by thinking about it
even the sluttiest version of myself will not go down on him
Just met a girl...She is complaining why on facebook you can't have more then one "open relationship"
I dont know how i feel about her from a moral standpoint...
Got to see someone fall down the stairs while holding hot coffee and a folder full of papers. Best Monday ever.
consequently i now know what mace tastes like
Remember when we made you finish your beer after you puked into your glass?
i hate being the asshole.
By the way if you come home and I'm not wearing pants, just go with it. I didn't have the energy to go searching for some.
i was so high i thought the horse on my poster was running
I just wanna get hammered somewhere crazy. Meet some chicks. Bang them and then go scuba diving.
My snow day: told Cam, "we're not dating today, we're just roommates." No bra, boxers, drinking whiskey by myself for the past 2 hours, yelling at The Ultimate Fighter reruns from 3 years ago.
You pretty much lost your mind. Your ego has gotten ten time the size of your balls.
Captain and coke. And it's not drinking alone cuz i have a dog
It was sweet, he carried me out of my bathroom after I passed out, built me a pillow fort so I wouldn't roll out of bed, set a glass of water on the table, and brought me a mixing bowl to puke in. Totally a sign we're more than just fuckbuddies.
I woke up and there was a tiny sombrero on my penis. Care to explain?
Randomize