there was a trapeze. enough said
I have to collect my sorority sisters from greek row... I hate how being dd is a night and morning job
Don't tell me wow. Tell me this is normal for college and in no way am I a whore.
No no no. When you take one for the team, there are no stipulations or conditions
I'm also 95% sure I had a conversation with someone on how hard it would be to jerk off with out opposable thumbs
I'm never drinking with you again. I woke up in Midtown with a 7' tall Norwegian rugby player named Lexie. Never. Again.
We had sex on the beach. I was completely naked except for my sneakers. That's when you know
I tried to celebrate Halloween, Thanksgiving, Hannukah, and New Years all in one night.
She brought me back a blanket from Mexico, then we had sex on it
...and that is the first time I've ever wished fewer naked women on someone I like.
I don't want sex or anything I just really need someone to appreciate how shiny my hair is
You kept insisting you found queso that's better than oral sex
Its really hard to get off when the googly eyes on your vibrator stare into your soul..
Don’t fucking talk to that dude from monday!! Ethical consumption dude, don’t fuck shitty guys
Another thing to add to the list of things not to do while I'm drunk......explain to the upstairs neighborr how to have quiet orgasams......she now thinks I want to be part of a threesome......fuck my life
Randomize
