Today's life lesson: fat girls should not wear tight miniskirts and vinyl leggings. This Forever 21 salesgirl is a hot mess.
i'm sending her a home depot gift card for the hole i put in her wall. call it good?
I just got three quarters of the way there before I realized I was way too stoned for class so I bought a smoothie and walked home.
any plan I had today of being a productive member of society, I am officially throwing out the window.
ask me if i forgot to go to a midterm today
What part of "you pissed in the tent" do you not understand?
That's saying a lot from the girl who takes her liquor with her to the library
Just blew a perc off the traytable on my flight, spring break has begun!!
She called me in the morning crying, but I was busy cleaning up bird guts, very hungover. It was a very surreal morning.
Promise me, at my funeral, you will re-enact our human sledding incident of 2011....you can use my dead body as said sled.
But mostly the blowjob in the airport bathroom was what I was laughing at.
FYI you are now my emergency contact at plan parenthood
It's just unfortunate that I still have the image of him having sex with me fresh in my mind
video games take priority over anything else you can offer me.
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
Randomize
