I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
is hooking up with someone you used to babysit wrong?
I just realized i masturbated to the home shopping network. I either need to get a boyfriend asap, or a subscription to a porn website, or i just need to stop taking ambien
so i had a dream that andrew cuomo ate me out. guess who i'm voting for?
To this day, he introduces me as "the girl I met climbing trees at 3 A.M."
How was me telling you it's my mom's birthday a go-ahead to bang my sister???
It's one of those nights that you wish to god someone would booty call you, and then realize you'll just be stuck here with your poptart...
I think they're German
Just say lederhosen and see what happens
Remember when we saw my neighbor taking dick pics of himself? He's back at it!
You screamed 'no, YOU put some pants on' at a cop. I pretended not to know you.
Look. I've got things to do today.. Will you hurry up and come over so I can give you some head and get my day started already
Outside
And then you told me I had large hands and looked like a girl who would have an illegitimate child that I never talked about
He said he doesnt believe in the female orgasm,so no I did not have sex with him.
Excuse me while I gouge out my eyes.
In which case my work here is done.
As soon as he called me 'darling' in that Scottish accent... my pants just dropped.
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