just graduated on the spot on the quad where I vommed freshman year. full circle
yeah he couldn't walk in a straight line and started throwing up and told the cop he just has an astigmatism
I'm doing lines by myself in the kitchen. I think your outside. yeah that's you. your naked.
This is the second time in a week I've woken up with your bra in my bed and I've had to sit and think about how it happened.
That's not a good night. A good night is waking up with no skirt, no money, and the imprint of the edge of the bar on your forehead.
All i remember about last night is holding a bottle of bacardi and screaming challenge accepted!
Climbing out Mr. Friday night's bathroom window. He thinks I'm puking. Be on state st. with the getaway car and if you could bring me a shirt and some advil that'd be dandy.
So proud. See you in five. I've got coffee.
All I want is to send a text that says "i slept with someone while wearing nothing but purple argyle socks this weekend." But the only person i would send that to is you. But you already know. Because they were your socks.
I'M NOT READY TO BE AB ADULT YET!!!
Watching the awkward tinder date at the table next to mine is the most action I've had in months, so there's that.
BITCH I AM EXPERIENCING THE FEMININE MYSTERY SHUT UP AND GIVE ME DRUGS
I'm a terrible person when I drink. I went from fine to not making any sense and yelling about cheese in like 30 seconds.
We were totally high while having sex, I told him fast or slow, just follow your balls. That was a show stopper.
I'm literally trying to cool beer down right now in my car by putting it on my floor and blasting cold air on it
drunkkkkk be here I heart you
Randomize