I look like a poor person in the cast of Gay Oliver.
I'm not 100% sure, but I think someone gave me a bath last night...
he thinks im joking when i say don't visit. i mean it's summer...he was the college fuck and now it's time for the summer fuck
I'm heating up a hotdog using a candle.
My dora the explorer band aid does not cover up the shame i feel right now
You were chewing up hot dogs and spitting them out
That's like being smoked out by a unicorn. If the opportunity presents itself you fucking do it and don't ask questions.
I'd just like to say before I start drinking tonight that not only do I not find you attractive; I don't want to hook up with you, suck your dick, be your "suga mama" or have your babies. Please disregard any texts, phone calls or voicemails that say otherwise..
I'm on a treadmill at the gym ordering pizza on my phone so it'll get to my house around the time I get home. I NEED HELP. Or I'm a genius. I haven't decided.
Aren't you proud to know somebody who texts you "manifold facade" while dumping frozen colada mix into a blender of rum
Immediately after I scarfed down an Applebee's appetizer trio for lunch, my boss sent me on an hour long road trip to pick up some parts. Great. I can't wait to shit my pants on US-31 South.
I put on pants and a bra for you and you never showed up. There is no forgiveness for that.
then a garbage truck rolls up to the club, they hop out, and walk right in like they own the place
Hope you are okay. You were running down the street with shopping cart at one point and yelling "bitches aint shit!"
I know it's New Year's Eve but if you're going to have a bunch of chicks playing strip go fish in our apartment I need a heads up.
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