We woke up, fucked, and shared a piece of my sister's first communion cake for breakfast.
And you thought you were going to hell last weekend.
I like the one of me you and her but you're looking at me...Total foreshadowing right there. I'm cropping it
I just realized I'm not towing a trailer. I thought this whole drive home I was towing a trailer. Wow too high
I've had more sex in the two weeks since we broke up than I ever had in any two weeks we were together.
They got a 10 foot tall beach ball from the roof of a McDonalds. Get the fuck over here.
One good thing about being a mom now, I can tell which guys I'm dating were breastfed and which weren't... By the way they latch on to my breast during sex! Kinda kills the mood.
I gave his parents a candle as a thanks for letting me hang out there all the time. Which i guess is more accurately a thanks-for-letting-me-fuck-your-son candle
I miss the good ol days when id just come home from school and thered be a costco size box of condoms on my bed.
my parents really loved me back then.
I decided not to eat, and then this man was my fairy " don't black out" godmother
There was another blizzard last night and at one point I was drinking 3 beers at once. Driving home didn't seem like a wise option
Nothing quite like walking through a spider web on your way back in from smoking to fuck up a perfectly good high.
To this day, I regret not having sex in the bathroom
finals do horrible things to a person. i haven't worn pants since friday
Just saw a fat guy on a flower print moped. He's my hero.
Today we memorialize my orgasms. Taken from me over six months ago, gone too soon. Here's to hoping we'll see one again
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