check it out our google latitudes are spooning
you ended the night by relentlessly sucking on my hips bone and hand demanding milk. you said it was because you were a tiger
i'm surrounded by gay midgets. not sure if i'm bragging or asking you to come rescue me. wait for follow up.
is there an easy way to say "i didnt plan on sleeping with you until i saw how drunk you were" ?
I definitely didn't wake up this morning thinking "i wanna get gang banged today"
she vomitted in her champagne, said "fuck it, it's new years", and continued drinking.
She literally just cut half her hair off because she's tired of asking someone to hold it back when shes drunk and puking.
Yea. I feel great. My life is great. My job isn't as shitty. And my daddy loves me. I love strip clubs. Great self esteem boost.
I appreciate you letting me know that the bird died but why didn't you do something about the corpse? or at least give me a heads up that it was still in the cage..Jesus
you have no idea how hungover I am. I can't deal with death right now.
Lol I think I might have been a little aggressive last night there is a blue ass print from your jeans on my wall
Woke up with an e-cig stuck in my asshole. Explain.
We broke up. And I told him he better give me my fucking star wars movies tomorrow. Priorities.
Never thought an ATM max withdrawal could be such a good thing...
don't let your emotions get tangled in that sexy beard of his.
I'm just trying to figure out the reason why humans wear socks....
Randomize
