return my video game
Using pot as a way to stop crying probably isn't a good sign huh?
Meh, some people pop Prozac, you smoke weed. Po-tay-to. po-tah-to
We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."
Let's do it. All homo
you know when i was in school the girls definitely did not have the tits the 15 year olds have now. so unfair.
Dear yesterdays makeup, Thank you for always being there when I stay up late binge drinking on weeknights and am running late to work Friday morning. You're the best.
she moved to the other side of town, do you realize how far i gotta walk to get a blow job???
I just got while a charlie horse while orgasming...most confusing feeling ever...
I have beard burns on my inner thighs. I'd say last night went pretty well.
I feel compelled to tell you that I woke up this morning and found an entire corn on the cob in my purse. Ive decided not to question my drunken behavior anymore, and to just accept it as my lifestyle.
Everything smells like beer. Everything. But I cant drag myself out of bed to take a shower. So beer it is.
Just saw someone tackle someone else to the ground for their coors light; he's not getting back up.
Yea, now that Irene is hitting us stores aren't selling any alcohol; beer is now a precious commodity.
I don't remember its real name, I just call it the Harrison Ford Cush after that idea with the Indiana Jones mask. I should just get high and sell people my ideas for their Halloween costumes all the time. I'd make a fucking fortune.
Want to get high and go thrifting? I'm trying to succeed making my dorm look like a deranged Applebees.
Just stepped off the plane in St. Louis. I'm breaking out in hives, I'm allergic to Midwesterners. Can't WAIT to get the fuck out of here.
See, I'm just thinking of how...angular my room is. You probably would have sustained brain damage
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