YOU GOT EVICTED FROM A TRAILER PARK!?!? WTF!!!!!
Just caught my bro jerking off to a lane Bryant catalog
Have you seen my high heels that I wore out?
You mean the one that you threw at the parked cop car or the one in the microwave?
He gave her the shocker .. I didn't know people really did that.
couldnt find a condom. used a surgical glove instead. actually worked and the sex was great. thanks nursing school
No one wears that much makeup to work unless they are trying to fuck their boss, NO ONE
New policy: when a woman uses the word blowjob in a sentence within 5 minutes of meeting her, you buy her a drink.
I want to wear something that says I'm a lady (but I have condoms!)
It was a legit night tell he threw a snowball in the bar, thats when I knew it was time to go to the next bar.
Piecing together the sordid story from witness accounts and photographic evidence, courtesy of Fcebook. My night included Mojitos, lighting the bar on fire and declaring myself the Queen of Nerds when I stole someone's flashing tiara. Woke up this morning with a velvet cape and plastic scepter to match. Mojitos are awesome!
Come my child we shall walk thru the pasture of amazing sex and corndogs. Hint:some corndogs are not corndogs.
You know what, don't say anything. You all made fun on me for saying I would fuck him junior year when he taught us algebra and six years later, HERE I AM.
I'll get him an axe as a present. So he can break out of his closet. That axe being my penis.
She's gonna be mad if she finds out you put weed in her house warming cookies
He showed up in a Prius. I didn’t even wanna.... So I left.
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