Goodbye hot boy in my geo class...goodbye my lover, goodbye my friend. you have been the one, you have been the reason I came to claassss
We walked in and they were fucking to Somewhere Over the Rainbow... I need a new roommate.
we kept pushing you at the prospective students saying go for it, itll make them want to come here
you kept yelling THIS ONES FOR THE ADMISSIONS OFFICE and then youd go in for the kill
The difference between you and me last night was that I didn't remember getting into the cab and you didnt know we were in one.
Turns out, his fucking is as lame and staggered as his NFL career.
This is a great bar, except you can't even randomly burst into song without them assuming you're drunk and cutting you off.
So high I started crying because I was proud of Snoop Dogg for becoming Snoop Lion
The dog just shocked himself by peeing on Christmas lights, should I have saw that coming?
You thanked your mom for the gymnastic lessons so you could do a keg stand
He said he could outsmoke me so I challenged him to a weed duel. I don't always very competitive but when I do...
Like I owe him sex. Hell fucking no. I owe myself sex. With a celebrity. Or a clean pornstar. Who knows.
I just turned down the best booty call of my life because I have to make a cheesecake. I guess this is growing up.
So was it everything you dreamed it would be
I puked.
Twice.
So is that a yes?
Dude. All I know is that I woke up on the floor with two naked chicks who don't speak English.
Clutch
I was puking for like ten minutes when I realized my parents were fucking in the shower and were afraid to come out
Randomize
