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• (269): View more from Michigan

  So, I woke up to an empty bottle of scotch and a dead car. The last thing I remember are the strippers being mad at me. Awesome night.

  (937): View more from Ohio

  Feels good to be wearing underwear again though...

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• (805): View more from California

  My phone now changes "me" to "mrrrrrrrrh", thank you new years.

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• (810): View more from Michigan

  maybe i'll make good life choices and keep my legs closed. periodically txt me friday and saturday night saying "baby carrot round 2" that should stop me.

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• (210): View more from Texas

  I want to break his glasses with my pelvis.

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• (724): View more from Pennsylvania

  I just realized that I have to choose between a future orthopedic surgeon and a dude currently in jail. My life is so fucked.

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• (334): View more from Alabama

  Well she started to strip and when she slung her hair at me, she painted my face with sweat. A LOT OF SWEAT. It was a weird boner.

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• (256): View more from Alabama

  my phone went off during the middle of it and he ask what i was doing. he wouldn't let my reply with "your boss". ..

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• (402): View more from Nebraska

  It's like God tapped him on the shoulder and said "You are now capable of giving world shattering, tear jerking head."

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• (919): View more from North Carolina

  He Dutch ovened me while I was hiding under the covers from his mom. Needless to say it did not end well.

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• (218): View more from Minnesota

  I don't think you understand...I'm really good at getting drunk

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• (229): View more from Georgia

  Have you ever hotboxed under your comforter? Best. Decision. Ever.

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• (609): View more from New Jersey

  He left a full handprint on my ass. He called it a "five-star review."

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• (203): View more from Connecticut

  You were staring right at you dick at the urinals, then looked at all the other guys dicks and fist pumped saying "I win!"

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• (240): View more from Maryland

  I'm not totally useless... You can use me as an example of what not to do

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• (315): View more from New York

  Waking up naked and dehydrated has become a regular occupancy for me.

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