adderall just fell out of my nose in class. guy next to me just nodded.
By getting ready I mean putting baby powder in my hair and possibly changing my pajamas to another pair of pajamas
We just stood on the porch wondering how you managed to puke up a whole piece of bologna
You couldve had sex with 2 drunk chicks on an alligator slide.
facebook friend requested him the morning after while he was still asleep in my bed, a whole new level of creeper even for me
i told you that I felt like my feet were melting into the ground and you starting blowing on them to put out the "invisible fire". thanks friend.
My mom would probably be ok with my lifestyle as long as she doesn't see that photo of me doing bong rips in a Jesus costume.
I'm working on finding a bottomless situation. Both pants and mimosas.
Do pleather leggings scream im easy on a first date?
I just realized I donated our bong to goodwill.. RIP Kimbo Slice
You suck, She hit so hard.
He told me I look like a librarian today. I hope that means he has a librarian fetish or something
Disregard. He says he said I look "agrarian" today and just proceeded to compare me to Mumford and Sons. Fuck it, I'm going home and drinking
Got hit on by the cable guy. Solid 9. Think Orlando Bloom with a glorious curly mullet.
Ugh. The fucking vaginal recession is so real right now.
Crazy homeless man drinking beer out of a vitamin water container on the bus just set me up on a date with the yuppie next to him
I swear to god, if you ever yell my name during sex with my sister again..your balls will be stapled to your nipples.
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