You found a girl to hook up with at a gay bar?
No. His name was Paco. I didn't get it by choice. I never had a hickey before.
Why are there so many empty soda cans in my room?
You put them in a circle around your bed and said it was the best way to ward of the witches from hocus pocus....then you remembered you needed salt too. I'm assuming you havent gone to the bathroom yet.
I wish you got a notification every time someone masturbated to a Facebook picture of you...
i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
Honestly, it was easier to just put it in my mouth than to deal with an awkward conversation.
It took 5 minutes to find my bra.. in his car.
Your job is getting in the way of our day drinking. Shots on the hour are not as cool alone.
I woke up this morning with a wristband and I thought I went to the hospital last night I actually went ice skating instead
He has a shower chair now. So he sits and watches me shower. It's kind of creepy.
Also, no joke, I think that raccoon hair is still in my eye from last night.
Just made a memo in my blackberry that contains seth's funeral arrangements. I have a feeling he has big plans for the weekend.
are we fucking for lunch or am I using my vibrator ?
By the way, just opened the browser on my phone for the first time today... And it was it the "images" section of "who invented ass fucking"
So thanks for that
how much do I hate his dog? was just googling to see if you can rent a hungry eagle for the weekend hate.
Ever been to a strip club with one stripper? I have. And she sucked.
Randomize