she's leaving w me bro, I've been buying her mad shots. She's seen my apt. So locked down.
dear santa what can i do with your candy cane?
She's the only one so far who hasn't laughed at me naked.... I'm gonna marry her.
It's called 'beer pong' not 'everclear and coke pong' for a reason...
We did naked snow angels in 14 degree weather, you can't tell me you had more liquor at that party
So I love how we keep introducing our friends to sex toys. It's like pay it forward vibrator edition.
Just bought koolaid for my vodka in a DARE shirt with my NES wallet. I'm everything I thought I'd be when I was 8.
Except even better, boobs get discounts.
They were taking shots out of the caps of perfume bottles. This is too much for me.
Well it's official... The first guy I ever gave head to now holds 2 world records. Should I text him asking if I can try and break my record?
I dnt think she needs convincing on the threesome part, it's the threesome with your roommate situation that needs some work
I have to sanitize my nipples and its just to cold in here for it to be ok
My rule for unemployment is that I can't smoke before noon.
I haven't gotten up before 1 though, so it hasn't really impacted me.
He told me I smelled like fruit loops and then bit me on the tit
Are you 5:30 blackout again?
We are such grown women, dealing with life's problems one shower beer and reckless makeout session at a time.
Randomize
