Please, let me fuck your mom
Good. You are like the clit whisperer.
Picking up third year law school girls is like MILF hunting for beginners
Sex tip #67: Jizz in the eye is very near the equivalent to pepper spray. Not recommended for pleasure enhancement.
I'm pretty sure I saw a man standing on a table with no shirt on getting sugar thrown at him while "pour some sugar on me" blaring while the cops were in the house.
I won the karaoke contest at the bar last night, when they called my name i was doing blow off the toilet seat, i thought they caught me, i didnt even know there wasa contest
Its that time of year where we just drink more instead of dressing warmer
Haha yeah this costume is worse than I imagined. I look more like a gothic hooker who caters specifically to creepy men with doll fetishes
We used to bone, but now she's my life coach.
Somehow my family started talking about sex toys at breakfast.
You have to commit to sexting. You can't just quit right after I send you pictures of my asshole.
Seriously, come on.
I feel like there's a picture of my ass on the internet right now.
I hate you.
I was totally going to fuck him and then his friend walked in brushing his teeth, whipped down his pants and started doing the windmill. Ultimate cock block
But being sober is boring. Everything takes so long, I feel like I'm just waiting in line to die.
dude, where did you go? french fries taste like numbers
Last thing googled on my laptop last night was vagina chaffing. What the fuck?
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