If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
I think im pregnant
I think you have the wrong number
rubbing her clit was like playing thumb war
she insisted i was the anonymous guy on formspring that kept asking to bang her
Clearly I went along with it
THEY SHOULD WARN YOU WHEN THEY MAKE JELLO SHOTS WITH JACK DANIELS!!! THEY SHOULD WARN YOU!!!!!!!
He booked us a hotel at a resort in cancun for sprng break... I just wanted to get laid this weekend when i was blackout i didnt know it was gonna spiral into a mess of events like a 5 month in advance commitment
There should be a blender full of rum, tea, and grape jelly in the freezer. She thought it was a good idea until she blew chunks.
Buying weed with grant money. God I love college. No other time are we presented with these opportunities.
I invented the best game. It's called "what touched my exposed nutsack?" It can range from pillows to toothbrushes
Welcome to the difference between being FWBs (remember how we used to see who could get more lap dances a night?) and being in a relationship. Fun, huh?
First time at a gay bar. I found a surrogate AND sperm donor! The surrogate is straight, so it evens out.
I had sex with marker all over my face so I can do just about anything.
I don't know, I think having hemorrhoids shows character. You have to be trying pretty hard to get them.
So, I woke up under a table with an alarm clock on my face, my hair in a bag of popcorn, and my phone charger wrapped around me.. what happened?
Drunk on wine at my parents house watching "RugRats In Paris". Comeatmeadulthood.
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