Well apparently he's into motor boating.
she was definitely wearing a bumpit. i think it was the hollywood bumpit. i told her that i lived with my parents to get outta taking her home.
Those 2 guys from the sonic commercial will be virgins for life.
so just incase you wake up on the couch wondering how you got there--you came home at 7am, put ice in a cup--then you proceeded to put the cup in the microwave and melt it because you "wanted water". you then, fell down the stairs while saying "you don't know me" then crawled to the couch.
I love wearing low cut shirts cuz then when class gets boring, I can look down and admire my breasts.
That weatherman I hooked up with is on TV again
He ate me out. IN THE MORNING. I love less attractive men.
we did shots in class this morning as part of a presentation. WHY AM I LEAVING THIS COUNTRY?!
Completely smashed, masturbating to the view of the ocean. Family vacations are more tolerable than I thought
As I was about to go to sleep he asked me if I was ready to 69. HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK AT HIM IN THE FACE OVER DINNER TOMORROW
His new place is a molesden. Like a hole in the ground. It's frightening how oddly private it is.
It rubs the lotion on it's foreskin...
i just teared up watching channing tatum in drag emerge from the fog on lip sync battle. it's gotta be PMS. either that or something is realllllly wrong with me.
I'm drinking vodka out of a water bottle at work. Am I really the best person to come to for life advice?
long story short, the bouquet was used as a sacrificial torch
I mean, you've had my nipples in your mouth now, so I think we've reached a certain level of friendship.
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