he just wrote my ten page research paper for tit pics. i love my boobs.
Getting blown during the Cavs game doesn't make it any less depressing.
all i wanted to do was something grown up. like go to applebees and drink.
I'm in a hotel full of Marines. I'm leaving here pregnant.
Who wrote Most Moistest Dad on my chest and what the fuck does it mean?!?
I did the crab walk everywhere because I was drunk enough that it was easier than standing up.
Thanks man, but unless some hot chick comes in to work with a case of beer and offers me a head job, I'm pretty much screwed for New Years
This election needs to be over, im tired of girls asking who im going to vote for mid hookup
Dude it's SB. It's a proven fact that all you need to survive on is beer, weed, chips and maybe some amphetamines
So is it safe to say that my only objective from last night is to finish this entire jar of peanut butter?
So like if I threw up in my purse is that "don't ever show your face in public again" worthy or just slightly frowned upon
I think he has some internal "man stuff" that keeps getting in the way.
Like alcoholism and general douchbagary.
In retrospect, vomiting out of a moving vehicle on the third date should have been a deal breaker
What's the world record for number of orgasms reached on ones birthday? Asking for a friend.
We celebrated Cinco the right way. We took shots of 1800 then he fucked me while Selena was on TV in the background
Randomize
