Needless to say when I told my parents they loved me less
drugs are my only escape from this reality. good thing I got it at a discount price last night
under NO circumstances is it acceptable to fist pump to taylor swift
your drunk mistake has arrived...he is the one wearing a poncho
i just woke up to a text from him apologizing for making me eat a full lemon
I will accept it in the form of tooth necklace but if you have better ideas I am open to suggestions.
Feels like someone put a cigar out where my butthole used to live
trying to figure out what happened last night by looking around the apartment.
naked man under the piano. THE PLOT THICKENS.
I was living a snoop dogg song I fucked her on the floor so I wouldn't mess up my bed
Lmfao. We asked what you wanted to eat and you said vagina. I don't care what kind. Fresh, barbecue, roasted on a camp fire. I just want it on my taste buds.
GOVERNMENT SHUTDOWN NO RULES ICE CREAM FOR BREAKFAST woooo!
Also I'm proud of us for having an educational conversation in this group text.
Did your grand seduction include learning to play careless whisper on a kazoo or was that just a hobby
I'm not 100 percent on this, but I think I just shit a lump of cement. What the fuck happened last night?
I just remembered I casually gave you a tour of the house after we boned...lol
Randomize
