i just looked at my contacts and realized i saved the pizza hut girl's number as "fckucin pizza" the other night.
Ask him about the girl he took home Saturday night. I swear she voted for Kennedy.
she went to her friend's wedding and caught the bouquet. as the unwilling rebound, can i run away now?
A very small part of me wants you to appreciate me for more than just my breasts. But the rest of me is breasts.
She climbed through the window and into my bed. Not even sure who she is. Was thinking she might be a friend of yours?
I fell asleep on the table at Denny's. Told the waitress to wake me up when my burger was there.
Why did I wake up holding food tongs?
I dont think I should be allowed to pick my own boyfriends anymore
She said you told her you were ready to be a dad. We just got back from our purchase of the morning after pill. That took me 2 hours of convincing. No more fucking my sister.
1. Thanks. 2. No.
I don't think a gay three way is the best way to confirm your sexuality.
i just want a position where we can lock up like some sort of sexual megatron and go the whole night that way
A surplus of mistakes were made and I don't know what 89% of them were.
I fell asleep in the bathroom during my mothers dinner party with no pants on. Her friend walked In. I was told to not come back.
I think I'm still high. And I definitely still smell like lobster, so there's that
According to the arrest report, I shouted "no, YOU put some pants on" at the cop. Downhill from there.
Randomize