The maid of honor just puked.
I asked him if he wanted to go to my place, he said i could go but he was gonna stay
You brought out the iron board layed it on the ground in the middle of everyone and passed out for the night
the party was called freshmen disorientation. i was just following the theme
Her directions to the house party: "the north star will guide you, turn left. I'm wearing the potato hat"
Remind me to tell you the one about the cashier that wouldn't sell me Jim Beam and NyQuil.
People are yelling about how much they want you here.
I'm going to change, vomit up my mexican food to save the trouble later, and then come meet you. Thrilled.
Now that there's no chance of him coming over to fuck anymore, I'm going to put up a one-person tent in my bedroom and live in it. My bed reminds me of him.
Hangover or death. Death. I'll have a slice of death please.
I can't feel my clothes. I'm convinced I'm naked
I'm really high and I'm watching this show where Gordon Ramsay goes to other people's restaurants and just yells at them about things.
You told me that you were as fast as lightning and you wanted to race me. Then you faceplanted after falling down the stairs.
Indeed. If boner pill commercials have taught us anything, it's the importance of waiting until the moment is right.
Where else would I get life advice?
Sooooo drunk. We had the best sex ever and after he looked at me and said "That's whats up". I looked at him weird and he said "Young Jeezy would say it" and passed out on me naked. I think i might be in love
Justin has passed out on the toilet in a locked stall. Stay tuned for pics.
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