break up sex still means we will always be broken up.
I threw up so much beer last night that my puke had a nice head on it.
I wouldnt endorse that guy if he was walking in a walkathon to raise money for a disease i had
Eventually the creepy theater major quirks will come out. Probably in bed. Like role playing as the Phantom of the Opera
Like if there was an award for best way to take a girls virginity, he would get a standing ovation. And first prize. Probably a bunch of roses too. That good.
This hot topless Jamaican just ran down the st with me on his back and He was screaming "I be stealing yo white ladies."
I don't know if i should be jealous or worried... or question where you are.
You better wipe the dick of your lips before you come smoke this blunt.
Remember that time we got drunk tomorrow
I don't care how sexy you think I look in my scrubs. Wanting a blow job is not a medical emergency.
I'm taking tokes in the bath tub, come if you want, I'm naked and you have to bring chicken nuggets or else you can't come in
He sat down, pointed at my Converse and said "I have the same shoes." I thought "I'm going to have sex with you by the end of the night."
Come home, I'm drunk on the porch and pretending to smoke breadsticks like cigarettes. Enticing, right?
Apparently today is power bottom appreciation day
You think your roommate is bad? The guy they paired me with is such a nerd, his very presence at a party blocks every cock in the room.
I'm hungry and horny. DEADLY COMBINATION.
Randomize