i'm only drinking out of pineapples from now on.
He belongs with you like a mcdonalds playground belongs in Chernobyl
nah, shes just mad because we went through all her fb pics and tagged her crotch as all the guys shes fucked
You probably havent been upstairs if you think that the microwave missing its door is bad
$1.99 mimosas n bloodys til 3. Happy hour starts at 4. We're gonna ride the mechanical bull to kill the hour inbetween.
Please take video.
Valium party in the driveway. Attendance: 1. Don't make me do this alone.
So... he formspringed me a link to every nude pic ive taken since he 8th grade. ive evolved nicely. but im nervous as to how this a website.
An there's a little girl across the bar eating Mac n cheese... #1 she won't stop looking at me. Boo bitch I'm drinking alone. #2 I'm about to tackle her ass for that Mac n cheese.
I mean besides the fact someone got stabbed, I still had a pretty good night.
Blackout me just wants to pee on sober me's dreams. Literally.
We can Fuck in the shower to save time
And this is why I like you. You're so damn innovative.
So I got drunk last night and attempted to shave a landing strip on my vag. I now have a 8 lane highway on my crotch now. Just looks like a random ass square.
I believe you can. But if you can have rum with breakfast then do that. Definitely do that.
It happend again, swimming on the floor... Vodka is my friend
if anyone asks you the platypus in my bathtub is a gift...thats all anyone needs to know
Randomize
