I just blindly shoved it in. I'm still not sure which hole I got.
as if moving home wasnt embarassing enough, mom picked up my laundry while i was gone. guess who needs to find a new hiding spot for his cum towel..this guy.
you knoww youre high when you are just as concerned as the contestants on ultimate cake off as they move their 250 lbs cake over the ramp
Leave it to him to get us kicked out of a bar for hitting on an 80 year old woman. I want to be that wasted one day.
I don't think you have the libido for two women at the same time
I think you underestimate the amount of time spent masturbating
you woke me up in the middle of the night to tell me you were taking off your pants and it was not an invitation.
Yes, I did know where her mouth had been, but frankly I think it was a lesson you needed to learn.
he forgot there was a midterm today. i watched him break his own finger to get out of it.
I found her sleepin on the side of the house in the rocks. so i woke her up and yelled at her and she would only come inside if i let her sleep in the bathroom.
Last night was the twilight zone. We hungout with our 45 year old future selves and tried to fuck everything with a dick. Lets move forward from this.
I'm just gonna go have sex with whom ever is in the men's room.
I deserve to have sex with a hot freshman ok
So, Cheetos don't microwave great.
He left a full handprint on my ass. He called it a "five-star review."
You know, I'm starting to enjoy brazilians. One day I'm going to make a therapist very very happy.
Randomize
