you were trying to give my penis an indian burn.
I just added her as a friend on Facebook. I met her 5 minutes ago and there are already more than 50 pics of me uploaded... from other nights.
Eating in charleston sc at a seafood place called "hymans". Like normal I had no problem finding it.
I just saw an old lady yelling at a dead pigeon for leaving the oven on.
Just bought two budlight beers with a can of tuna at the bar
Drunk sex destroyed my coffee table... ikea this weekend?
Confidence margaritas not a good idea. Just said foreskin in my presentation instead of foresight.
He couldn't stand on his own, but he managed to somehow to get to the beer garden and get served 3 more. I'm proud to call him my cousin.
Hefty paycheck and not get wasted can't exist in the same night
Explain the King Dong next to my face.
We found him flat on his back, sobbing, 'fuck you stars' at the sky. No more everclear for Derek.
Came home to butt plugs and dildos in the bathroom sink WTF
Spring cleaning
How is someone going to pee on the floor two days in a row? Fuck this place.
i'm really sorry, but i'm just not sober enough to make good decisions.
Well... Chad blew off half of his hand last night. We were able to find most of it.
Randomize
