My milkshake brings 85 to 90 percent of the boys to the yard
Dude turns out her best friend is lesbian...there is no wingman for this situation
he drove an hour to get eggs with me not even a blow job, just eggs.
I woke up to blood crusted on my face. I don't understand
team rage. no explanation necessary
I just remembered I opened the taxi door when I was at a red light last night and puked. And then when I was done I closed the door and told him he may proceed with caution.
Get in the lobby, you have to sign my boxers
Just because its your birthday does not mean u can play quarters by dropping quarters into cups to make me drink.
Yeah dude, it's amazing. Be careful though, that shit is really really intense. Like it's way more intense than normal shit...
I took two and feel like crushed diamonds spread over glazing marmalade
nothing like a walk of shame in front of a cnn news crew to start the morning off right
Listen I know you hate her for what she did but this is getting our of hand. Please please tell me where you hid her wedding dress.
Last night must have been awesome because I went to get in the shower only to find the bat symbol drawn on my chest
That happened during battle shots lol
I try not to flex my sex appeal too much around the engineers, it's like feeding bears...always ends in disaster.
Grrr. Fine. You get oral for being unwrong.
I'm gonna cum garlic butter
Used my power pack to charge my vibrator so I didn't have to unplug my switch or my galaxy lamp. TECHNOLOGY!
Randomize