It's true. Ladies love me because I'm so strong and they feel safe. Not because of my pseudo charm and their impaired judgement after several drinks...
Just got done shaving my balls. You were right.
Her sex list was a LOT longer than mine. She tried to justify it by saying '4 of those don't count because they were in the gang bang'.
woke up with 15 BAGS of hot dog buns in my passenger seat... jameson strikes again
Are my feet made of real feet?
Its not that I'm getting free haircuts... Its just that she is paying for sex with haircuts...
do you think she knows her nickname is brickface?
the last guy with this job had a bookshelf fall on him. He's in the Er. Im high and they gave me his shift. How do you think i feel?
Dude you spent 20 minutes on the phone with dominos answering machine trying to order a pizza
Btw any and all sexual fantasies or arousal I had about cops is null and void.
Slept at my ex's best friends house while my ex was locked out and I walked by him sleeping in his car this am
pretty sure I woke up to him jacking himself off IN MY BED
I am a delicate flower. A fucked up, drunk, horny, pants pissing, delicate little flower.
don't take offense to this but at the strip club tonight I legit believed one girl was you. almost hopped on stage and freaked out at you. you're a beauty.
oh what is to come when my single life starts with a threesome?
Randomize
