You can spell. I can kill people with no remorse. We all have our skills.
you should buy a sheep. A) you get an awesome pet. B) free coat
Well the weddings in 4 days so I already got the eightball lined up and the wii fit all warmed up. Still wanna bet I wont lose 20 pounds by the wedding?
he told me he was a chubby chaser.. then winked. i'm signing up for a gym pass as we speak
See, not all bad decisions involve my penis.
He ended up letting us go, I think he just felt sorry for us. It's the only time that my night's gotten worse after I've taken my pants off.
Just beat 2 Norwegian women in beer pong. Never been so proud to be an American.
Fixing to yell "you're too hot for her" at a Gerard butler look alike. There is absolutely no way this is going to end well...
I would makeout with my roommate, but im not drunk enough and she doesnt like bacon fat
Hardcore start to spring break. Mike is wearing adult diapers because the only stop we are making is for gas.
New found love of volunteering, when there's free wine available at all times. Good times. And I get to to feel good about helping people.
I feel like weed makes my smarter. I'm watching the stocks and the way I understand if, do not invest in Yahoo right now because they are not fit for that.
I'm tripping pretty hard right now but every time a Volvo drives by I feel like everything is gonna be alright
I got so drunk I thought my tennis court was a corn field so I laid in it and ate pizza
I kid you not. He let me in into his house, showed me the putt putt in his backyard. Offered to play me.
Randomize
