Dual....:-)
yo im tryna cop a beej tonight
if you google earth my address you can see me getting out of my car. finally my moment of being famous
The iPad is going to make my porn collection SO much more glossier... thanks steve jobs.
He is offering to pay me back by sending me a dick pic.
.......................................
My thoughts exactly.
She handed me her tooth and asked me to hold it so she could swim.
I repeat the shot was ON FIRE. I am never going to a pirate bar again.
I sincerely hope you find your fuck buddy and have a wonderful night of champagne and whores
Have you ever stopped and thought "I do NOT want to be inside of this person right now. Or ever." Because you should.
Please don't place wagers on my sex life unless you are giving me a cut. With my current sluttiness I feel like I deserve 40% for how much money you'll make
The guy had great intentions when throwing us free beer off the balcony... but of course I was the one to get hit in the face because that's the kind of luck I have
listen. he fixes things. buys me drinks and sticks his penis in my vagina. age means nothing at this low point in my life.
actually there are like 49038098 people in the bathroom for no reason. Singing My Heart Will Go On and pseudo fighting.
I woke up in some kids room and he introduced me to his friends at breakfast as "Monica" so I just went with it.
Just watched a middle age white woman scream WHY DON'T YOU GO FUCK YOURSELF, HELEN?! Helen seemed absolutely scandalized.
Randomize
