and by charming I mean he has a horse cock.
Could guys at least pretend I require some amount of money to be spent before I randomly go down on them?
Reason #84 I'm on my way to becoming a crazy cat lady: I called the police last night because I heard a noise and the cats were acting funny like they were trying to tell me something. The 3rd time the dispatcher repeated "the cats are acting funny?" I yelled and told her to have an officer ask the cats what happened.
you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
If your dick isn't up when i get home you're catching tonight.
The bouncer was kicking me out and I put up my finger for him to wait while I chugged the rest of my drink..all he could say is "are you serious right now?"
If after tonight I can still walk on my own, take me to another bar.
my head hurts. i need an adult
and not like a cool parent adult. like a full fledged party pooper grandparent adult
Life gets in the way of sexy Saturday sometimes
I just found my "random bang list for summer of 2012" that I wrote last night.. It's written on a Plan B receipt. If this isn't irony I don't know what is.
Got laid in my rudolph onesie for the second year in a row. New tradition? Absolutely.
Just specific performance'd my way into her pants. I literally said specific performance and that shit worked. Thanks B. Law!
Dunno. My heart says "no", my brain says "maybe" and my dick says "YES YES FOR THE LOVE OF GOD YES!!"
Getting robbed by hookers is def a right of passage in a mans life
Don't let me pee the bed... Its going to be one of those weekends
Randomize
