it's taking a lot of effort to be mature and not reply to her with like a video of bestiality porn
Squirrels and blue jays and dove-like things. They're just frolicking around in my backyard. I wanna be like them.
I think I just sold my virginity for plane tickets
all the sharp corners in my house are covered with litter foam blocks. al set for partying
he kept a regular condom in his wallet just so he could comment on how it wouldnt fit before whipping out the magnums. i give him points for the build up
Well I tried to steal a golf cart. I fought with the Chick-Fil-A cow. And other things.
I consider myself an expert at getting drunk and embarrassing people at weddings.
The guy I woke up with is wearing the same nailpolish as me...I need to stop drinking
I fully committed to my astronaut costume, to say the least. blacking out on moonshine and having a moonwalk of shame this morning: happy Halloweekend.
Saw 2 lesbians fist fighting outside the bar tonight. I was startled yet slightly turned on
Made eye contact with his twin sister the day after he gave me a lifechanging blowjob. Do you think she knows?
I opened my bookbag to put my laptop in and I found two granola bars and a pregnancy test. I am clearly prepared for life
A picture of a damn cupcake brought back 3 fuckboys
I don't think I used nearly enough fucks in my reply to convey the level of fuck him.
Whenever someone said no you would yell "Die Motherfucker." Kind of like some twisted drinking game.
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