I can't get out of the parking garage so now I'm staying downtown....Typical
You were pretty committed to that cat costume. Between pukes, you would meow and assure people that you just had a hairball you couldn't get out...
what kind of wine goes with anal sex and shame?
We officially wrote our house rules 1. We do not waste alcohol 2. Pinky promises mean something 3. Don't leave your facebook open, and if you do, don't complain 4. Never refuse cuddle or catch phrase
On the bad side I puked, but on the bright side I puked lettuce which was a new experiance
He thought you were kidding about me peeing on my ex...and then I was like "that was one time"
So how did it go?
I'm not sure if it was all the eggnog or all the alcohol, but hosting an eggnog pong tournament was a mistake.
You sent 2 glasses of water to the table next us and told to the waitress they were on you. I repeat: water
My TA is here with a sombrero and an entire bottle of Svedka. Skip jury duty.
I just really wish I could go back and unsex him. Waste of my vagina.
I am buying anal lube, an enema, and a bag of kit kats. What part of this is compelling the Walgreens woman to tell me to "be well".
I don't want my vagina anymore.
She is carving a little coffin out of some wood for her hamster that died. I'm flying home tonight.
He wants to pour butter pecan flavored coffee creamer on me and lick it off. I'm like, dude, gross. French Vanilla ok? Ugh.
Is it bad that I'm not at all bothered by the fact that to some people I'm simply known as the girl that takes her shirt off?
Randomize
