just watched her puke in her purse and put it back on the bar. then half hour later put her hand in her bag to get a pen to give me her number. I bet she is game for anything
They're drinking Schnapps out of Spaghetti-o's cans. Please come pick me up.
i mean, i stole her boyfriend and beat her snake score on facebook within 48 hours. not her week.
Pretty sure I can show you the text you sent me stating some interest in my penis entering your mouth if said circumstances were met.
He left his shoes, boxers and socks at my house & managed to walk home to his dorm without realizing anything was missing until 3 days after. That's the last time i'll ever hook up with a freshman.
its amazing there are so many photos of me and him separately, since most of that party time was spent sneaking away to fuck upstairs...
I feel like weed makes my smarter. I'm watching the stocks and the way I understand if, do not invest in Yahoo right now because they are not fit for that.
IM NOT TALKING TO YOU UNTIL YOU MAKE A PROCLAMATION YOU LOVE ME MORE THAN TACOS
She brought me back a blanket from Mexico, then we had sex on it
Did I tell you that I told him I deleted his dick pics and he almost started crying?
Dude how much would someone have to pay you to get you to slide your vagina across a bald man's head because Honestly I'd do it for the experience alone. but money would be nice too\n\nI'm thinkin like 500 bucks. Maybe 700
Why are you like this.
Ran up to the dollar store to get batteries for my vibrator. Happy Valentines Day!
Apparently, im the only one in the world who thinks Larry King is hot.
Its 7am I'm awake still drunk, there is food, random clothing and road cone in my room. I can't decide if this is a failure or a success???
Well, thanks for not letting me sleep with anyone, but no thanks for telling everyone I have the clap.
Randomize
