Worst part was I had to fart super bad and didn't want to ruin the room so I farted in a pillow and threw it under the bed.
is it bad i banged a 25yr kindergarten teacher last night?
No thats like a top 10
I just got a mental picture of us having sex in a trash can.
he literaly had a hockey helmet on and was swan diving off the couch onto the coffee table.
She poured a bottle of rum in the champagne fountain, did like 5 jello shots at the same time, then lit herself on fire. Twice. This is how everyone should turn 21.
You could become Eskimo brothers with my dad. How can you pass that up? You pussy.
That feels better than graduating college or that time I tried to ride a llama. Did you know they really spit?
Wearing a french maid costume for Halloween sure did help me meet girls
Dude, they all thought you were gay.
im just laying in bed, eating, getting fat, enjoying eating and getting fat, thinking about how i will probably have to get a fat boyfriend.
This is why I only drink in places with a C or D health rating
A guy I hooked up with YEARS ago just endorsed me on LinkedIn for "customer service".
Would an open wound count as good sex or bad sex?
You took the glass microwave plate and said it was the closest thing to a frisbee, let me know how that works out for you
I just shaved my legs via the sink as to not wake my parents up because I know I'll be having marathon sex tomorrow after my certification exam... so this is life after college.
But I think I successfully seduced her with my alias.
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