Well all I remember is going to sleep being big spoon to you and waking up being little spoon to *****
And then I said "flip over. I want to show you something i learned in Afghanistan."
Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
First guy to fuck a girl in the new tool shed. Her underwear is on the shovel hook.
it was like she was tryin to eat my face and i was defending myself with my mouth
There was a lot of him and a little penis
i knew she was high when she broke up the cookies into her glass of milk and ate it like cereal
In the middle of pouring my wine you asked me if I could hear your vibrator from my room.
there's a strong possibility i came on your eyeliner last night bathroom sex was unplanned and rather messy sorry
OH BABY IM HERE AND IN A BLANKET FORT
COME TO THE BLANKET FORT
Pre-chapter meeting quote: "Why is there a bun literally taped to the shelf? That doesn't even make sense when you're drunk, who does that?"
She told me she brought a guy home but that he looked pickled. And no, that's not an autocorrect.
Hahahah pickled
I asked her what she meant and she said that he looked like he had soaked in water.
You have not lived until you've had your brains fucked out on a broken down Tunnel of Love ride. Life is good.
So I love answering sex questions in intimate relationships class on a clicker when im sitting next to my cousin..
Unless your name is actually "Ticfj" like my phone says, I have no idea who you are...
Randomize
