Deadliest Catch is NOT foreplay
i dont think my parents would of encouraged me to save years of birthday money if they knew what i would eventually spend it on
I kept feeling my boobs..just to make sure they were still there.
I don't have nearly enough visine for the dryness from sticking my head out the window on the freeway for 20 minutes. Child lock me next time.
I'm mumbling to people and trying not to accidentally shit my pants
He brought wine and beer. I'll put my pants on for wine and beer.
All you need to know is that isn't jizz
I think it's starting to become crucial that I find a companion for my vagina.
I feel like we should apologize to the light saber. We were REALLY inappropriate with it last night.
He hasn't texted me back since last week when we sexted. I think telling him I wanted to choke him with chains was a bit much for our first time.
Well yes he stayed. He brought Guiness, them he shaved me. It's a long, but beautiful story.
I lowered my expectations when he started off saying "ah missionary, my specialty"
Our prom king just sent me a dick pic. I know it's 10 years later but I feel like I've finally made it.
I might go bald with this hair pulling thing every night.
He had a temporary tattoo of Justin Bieber on his dick and I still had sex with him
Randomize
