She's helping me study for the final by writing the vocab words all over her body.
I understand that I gave you a nose bleed with a cheeto last night and for that I apologize
the fact that i fell through a skylight is the least humiliating part of the night
Puked in the hotel lobby and just kept walking. I love mardi GRAS.
You know were out to late when I call my hook up at 8:08pm and 8:08am in the same night.
Wow thanks 4 throwing jello at me an yelling who invited that guy to all the guys at the bar
I love that the power of margaritas brought us back together.
He invites me over too FucK and i wind up eating 6 jimboys tacos with his roommates. While he waited in his room. Maybe next time
He seduced me by making me nachos. It worked.
He got in a fight. Then called me drunk to see if he should bail his friends out, or walk through a Taco Bell drive-thru. True love.
I wish I were single again so I could actually have sex.
The only time we had a decent conversation was when he was on acid, and, like, that's not a great start to a relationship.
Okay first of all, that is a sick ass nickname please call me that forever. Second, i need your help.
Just walked outside my house; realized I wasn't wearing any pants after about 3 minutes or so.
Drunk, high, hungover?
...I wish I had an excuse.
Do you lock your house? Serious question, I need to know if I can add it to my list of emergency poop stops
Randomize
