let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
I climb out of my sunroof. I mean its kind of embarrassing but part of me feels awesome and ninja like.
just took my birth control pill with a shamrock shake. happy st. patrick's day
Just an fyi, teatherball while wasted might be the hardest sport ever.
He took the lighter and said "this is how I give myself a bikini wax."
He probably smells like baby powder and sexual identity crisis.
we are out of drugs. and patience. please bring former.
I was tackling you out of excitement
Yeah thank goodness the stripper pole was there to break my fall.
He needs a high five right to the fucking mouth. With a chair. Or an atomic bomb.
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
She busted her face in a tragic twerking accident. Marking the 2nd time I have peed my pants laughing.
If I ever go to Canada, I'm fucking the maple syrup out of his Canadian ass.
I literally just rubbed my stomach and told my liver to "hang in there baby"
Also, I found this app that is basically a tamagochi from the 90's and now I finally have something to keep me busy at work!
Apparently I told him the people made me order taco bell I didn't even want it. And then proceeded to turn off all the lights and sit at the kitchen table in the dark and told him not to look at me.
Randomize