oh good, I think they're gone
the painters?
my herpes
To bright to open both eye. Get pizza and put in feeding tube so i can sleep more
Just found out my drug dealer is also a porn star. It's a good day.
my dog ran away and came back with a marajuana plant. what are you doing tonight?
We're exchanging pot brownie recipes in my substance abuse class. This is going to be an awesome 7 weeks.
You're barking up the wrong lesbian.
He has to watch his girlfriends kitten. Even when she is in Vegas, her pussy keeps him from getting into mine.
Yes. Yes. Double yes. I'll bring the tits. You bring the frosting.
With me living this close to Mexico now, Tequila is just a geographical choice at this point if nothing else.
At this point, if I'm not getting fucked by a man in ONLY cowboy boots, it's not worth it.
your body is your temple. do you really want a bunch of dicks in your temple?
He was having this drunk emotional breakdown and I was just trying to cheer him up but instead fell and dumped the whole pickle jar on me
It was cool though because he was fine afterwards and somehow I convinced them I did it on purpose...
Bored of what? I stayed up all night researching sex toys because I'm excited to do things with you that I haven't done in 29 years of having a body.
He made me a flamingo drink and now I don't know why things are the way they are.
Going overboard is basically 75% of my personality
I'm a gorgeous hot mess
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