Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
Goodnight sugar queer
Sugar queer??
Why does my predictive text prioritize 'queer' over 'puffs'?
if being creepy is wrong, then i don't want to be right
Dude just bought condoms some sad fuck next to me buying a pregnancy test he gave me a look like he'd pay me millions to switch places
haha it staarrted out with just getting drunk then it turned into sports authority. So now im 4th or 5th in line and shit faced. Help me
I'll hold a taco with my boobs for you
We're having a serious conversation and I just responded to something he said with an emoticon. I am so baked.
He said and I quote "Had to beat one off in the Burger King bathroom before I went over." Thats somebody that takes pride in his work.
I literally have a bandage on my dick that's how bad she is at handjobs
I should never be allowed to dance around children at weddings. I think I just insured that a 4 year old will be a future teen mom.
last thing I remember is yelling 'sit on my face' through a traffic cone
I was going to try being motivated today. But then I took a hit while still in bed.
He's tiny, but ripped. Like a stacked hobbit. He's going to pull our sexy, crime-fighting rickshaw.
I went from swearing off of sex to planning a threesome. It's been a rollercoaster of a day.
Cover your peen. We're going out.
Randomize
