the best part about tonight...knowing when i wake up in the morning his car will still be full of packing peanuts..and mine wont
he said my vag tasted like ravioli n pennies... i forgot I was on my period
Yes..we had amazing sex that I have a 50 percent chance of remembering.
He sent me $300 worth of sex toys. My clitoris went into hiding after two days.
Blood. All over. Pre coke adventure needs to slow down unless I'm involved
Someone took a picture of their balls on my phone last night. BEAUTIFUL PACKAGE. I will find this man.
Would it be tacky of me to tell the two girls I just found out he's been sleeping with on the side that I've been having gay sex with him all semester?
Do me a favor. Next time I think it's a good idea to take pulls from the handle, yell "FALCON PUNCH" and uppercut me in the taint. My future liver thanks you.
I knew it would get worse when I said I think your roommate is watching and he looked over at him and said ... So?
Please, take the 2 shots of vodka that I left as an apologie.
its just been over 12 hours, and i`m dying, don`t know how i`m supposed to survive the holidays sexless
Seriously, even though I keep it clean, I could douse it in bleach and set it on fire and still not be comfortable with you actually holding it. It's been in my VAGINA.
so "excuse the stench" wasn't the correct thing to say when your boyfriend's parents walk in on you shitting. Live and learn
I chose not to drink last night but drinking chose me
Learning to live poor pretty well. Cashed in all the coins in my car for nearly 60 bucks and yelled at a Pizza Hut manager, insisting I have a free pizza credit, until he just gave me a pizza.
Randomize
