I took off my bra and money fell out...how crazy was I tonight?
Have you ever had champagne poured on you during sex? It was like a rap video
i just watched a video of two girls fucking with a banana and i thought of you.
i hate you
Knitting and drinking wine. Forget my 21st birthday, might as well just skip to my 60th
he's from indiana, of course he's clueless about "g-spots"
i totally fed the cab driver fruit salad with my hands while he was driving
that's not even the weird part though. he already knew where the bathroom was, he might have been here before..
I can't believe I cried over a sausage mcmuffin.
not much sitting here stoned eating my little sisters halloween candy and judging each individual hersheys candy bar and after much deliberation by the selection committee the original hersheys chocolate bar won
Yeah.. he went to Tebow in the middle of the crosswalk and got hit by a cab... The yellow ones really don't stop
I'm calling into work tomorrow for day drinking and kitten shopping. Totally legitimate.
I also love beards. The playoffs are like christmas for my vagina.
After she asked if she could try to fit her toe ring around it, i decided to leave. Thats the life i live
I just smoked weed out of a baked potato.
You rock my world.
seriously the second he called my tits warlocks was the second I knew I wasn't going to fuck him.
Randomize
