i now know from two sources i am better at making out and giving head than she is. and not by a little either.
I was sitting behind this girl in class and she logged out of her facebook, hacked into her boyfriends, and then proceeded to check his inbox. This is why I'm single.
nutella sex= disaster
Im only slightly posetive that left over guacamole and wine are unacceptable for breakfast at 6.30 am
drunk old tina is grateful for 14 yr old tina for placing glow-in-the-dark stickers on my light switch...just avoided so many injuries
I just want to go to their admissions office and show them the video of him taking the flaming shot, and be like yeah...you let in the kid who lit his entire face on fire over me.
did you really just send me an instagramed dick pic?
ahhhh just came to creep and you're not there AND your thong you were wearing last night is on the floor..someone has some explaining to do
I'm sad we weren't friends when I went through my "I like drugging my friends" phase
Steaks?
It's Ash Wednesday.
If you really think that not eating meat on a weeknight is going to keep you out of hell, fine. Can I use that chimichurri you made?
if anyone knows where my shirt is please let me know and if you know why I don't have my own shirt please also let me know. also do any of you know why I'm missing a bra wire?
whatever. i don't need to be drunk to tell you i'd suck your dick if you had one.
I could have been on my second lucrative divorce by now, but nooooo, I had to be a strong independent woman.
He pulled out a Plan B pill and handed it to me as I left like it was a party favor. God Bless America.
Whose house did we sneak into and play beer pong for 4 hours at last night?
I honestly have no idea
Randomize
