i found out what alaskan girls practice during those six months of darkness
i woke up, turned over, and noticed an assortment of knives stuck in my wall. i should prob stop drinking
we traced the origins of this shit fest of a relationship back to a single instance of road head. then we did a reinacment
You just kept screaming at everyone 'not to break your scarf' and doing somersaults
Me too. We could do it like prostitutes. No kissing on the mouth.
I had a dream where I was about to fight you but you were dressed like a greek god and had just killed a werewolf with your bare hands
I normally need adult supervision or a babysitter, but I refuse to let someone keep me from making irresponsible and wrong decisions at the bar on my last bday ill ever have in texas
Explain the King Dong next to my face.
I ran into his family and they made me a ham sandwich and I asked if they wanted to come streaking. I felt they deserved the invite.
mom how many of the songs from my childhood are mexican drinking songs?
all of them.
They took the TVs out of the gym and the mini-Mart only had 2% milk. 2015 wants me to be fat
the last thing i heard from her was "i wanna get fucked by a stranger" and i haven't seen her since
Do you think it's illegal to drive without your pants on?
I'm pretty sure my therapist gave me the green light to fuck him.
I really regret not asking “like a cupcake” when you asked me to eat your ass
Randomize
