It was just so hard to get through Conan without crying like a baby. I'm just so proud of him.
i guess its officially winter break. i woke up alone and fully clothed this morning.
she's throwing a head of lettuce everywhere shouting HEADS UP and trying to get us to play catch with her. i'm scared.
What's the best way to say, "it's too early in our relationship to leave me at your place alone"? Steal something?
Her eyebrows were plucked so thin that she had to have gonorrhea. Clean girls just don't pluck that way
We are not in a rock band. We can't continue living like this.
I would like you to know I am eating your apology chocolate, which means i forgive you for puking everywhere before formal
I don't even remember what he looks like. All I know is he's 6 foot 100. I like that.
And some neighbor just saw me naked and hunched over a bag of potato chips stuffing my face. Maybe clothes aren't a bad idea.
Omg. Tonight might be the night I masturbate thinking of a smoothie!
For someone who wanted a break I'm getting way to much dick
Also my roomates are going to be gone till sunday. Make correct decision here
Quit calling your parents your roomates
You were pretty conviced that my dog was a spanish child and kept trying to read him the news from your iphone app
He spent ten minutes post bj, limp cock still out, in shock repeating 'best blow job ever'. So yes, yelling I am the penis queen out the car window was justified.
The people around me on the bus dont know im wearing glowsticks under my clothes. I feel like a super hero.
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