So I just almost came on my own face I had to dodge it as it was flying by...that was a first
It was great. Even bought me breakfast in the AM
From?
Well, he didn't exactly take me out, but left a $20 on the table...
I hope his life after cheating on me is as good as Tiger's golf game is these days.
Weird we were more concerned with sharing our germs than tag teaming the blow job?
The guy in the American Flag bikini was telling the women he was disgusted at the amount of alcohol they weren't drinking. Then it got ridiculous.
Just pull your dick out and wink at her, its a game changing play
in case you were wondering, even a BJ under a blanket on the back of a bus only lifts a 14-hour bus ride to borderline tolerable.
I will kill you in such a brutal way if you ever de-pants me again on the dance floor it will make the stock market ticker
Would it be inappropriate to trade Christmas cookies for sex?
And then my night got REAL pukey
So... I may have accidentally just sat on a strip of a home waxing kit.. naked... Assistance is definitely needed....
I COULD CUT A FUCKING DIAMOND WITH MY RIGHT NIPPLE RIGHT NOW HOLY FUCK
No, I didn't meet up with him! That's when I had chlamydia.
Just saw a hotel with a bunch of mattresses in the parking lot. Made me think of you.
Did you clean my apartment?
I thought it was a dream, I'm sorry
Please stay more often
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