I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
I just high-fived this girl after she swallowed.
Am I allowed to make my facebook status "loves farting in chairs"? I think it would shock every boy that I am friends with.
connan obrien reminds me of an asparagus spear
I feel like royalty, that girl from last night had a vajazzled vag. Bucket list complete.
frankly if you're gonna get kicked out of your place, hooking up with your gay roommate's boyfriend would be the most entertaining way to do it.
I'm wearing your poncho, and only your poncho. I'm not getting pulled over like this.
not saying it was a bad idea to throw an impromptu party but someone stole the microwave
Fuck I am so excited for the first time I can make someone call me Doctor Nikki during sex after I finish my PhD
That's the ultimate walk-of-shame: running away from your own apartment and hiding in a McDonald's.
I was on all fours trying to empty the bowl we smoked into the sewer when your neighbor came out, but besides that it went smoothly
I started screaming "MY PARENTS ARE MORMON" at a stranger and promptly proceeded to run into a wall. How do you think it went?
I think I died and satan has brought me back to life and I'm paying for my sins with this hangover
Kick open the door, strike a pose, steal a boyfriend, end scene.
I'm in my math teacher's garage hiding right now because I fucked his son last night. It's fine
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